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February 8 - March 21, 2025
It is necessary for you not to let pain rewrite your memories. And it’s absolutely necessary not to let pain ruin your future.
Forgiveness is the weapon. Our choices moving forward are the battlefield. Moving on is the journey. Being released from that heavy feeling is the reward. Regaining the possibility of trust and closeness is the sweet victory. And walking confidently with the Lord from hurt to healing is the freedom that awaits.
My ability to forgive others rises and falls, instead, on this: leaning into what Jesus has already done, which allows His grace for me to flow freely through me (Ephesians 4:7). Forgiveness isn’t an act of my determination. Forgiveness is only made possible by my cooperation.
But please never confuse redemption with reunion. Reunion, or reconciliation, requires two people who are willing to do the hard work to come back together. Redemption is just between you and God. God can redeem your life, even if damaged human relationships don’t come back together.
you and I can forgive, even if the relationship never gets restored.
Forgiveness isn’t always about doing something for a human relationship but rather about being obedient to what God has instructed us to do.
WHAT YOU GIVE UP: the right to demand that the one who hurt you pay you back or be made to suffer for what they’ve done. God will handle this. And even if you never see how God handles it, you know He will. WHAT YOU GET: the freedom to move on.
Freedom from unforgiveness doesn’t mean instant healing for all the emotions involved. But it does mean those emotions will turn into eventual compassion rather than bitterness.
Forgiveness is a command. But it is not cruel. It is God’s divine mercy for human hearts that are so prone to turn hurt into hate.
What we look for is what we will see. What we see determines our perspective. And our perspective becomes our reality.
“For me to move forward, for me to see beyond this current darkness, is between me and the Lord. I don’t need to wait on others to do anything or place blame or shame that won’t do anyone any good. I simply must obey whatever God is asking of me right now. God has given me a new way to walk. And God has given me a new way to see. It’s forgiveness. And it is beautiful.”
Forgiveness is both a decision and a process. You make the decision to forgive the facts of what happened. But then you must also walk through the process of forgiveness for the impact those facts have had on you.
“And whatever my feelings don’t yet allow for, the blood of Jesus will surely cover. Amen.”
things we learn as children stick with us.
For many of the wrong things that were done to us we didn’t have a say in what happened. But we do have a say in how we move forward.
Be honest with what emerges.
The words I’m writing are putting my heart on display. I can’t always see what’s inside my heart, but I can listen to what spills out.
don’t weaponize your pain against others.
Making peace with the past doesn’t mean that you’ll ever be able to make sense of what happened.
But answers about why are not what you need.
It’s 100 percent your choice to make.
When you let the hurt go and the grudges all leave, PERSPECTIVE—a really great gift—is what you’ll receive.
FORGIVENESS IS MORE SATISFYING THAN REVENGE.
Forgiveness doesn’t let the other person off the hook. It actually places them in God’s hands. And then, as you walk through the forgiveness process, it softens your heart.
OUR GOD IS NOT A DO-NOTHING GOD.
But we don’t serve a do-nothing God. He is always working.
Sometimes, unlike in the Joseph story, we don’t get to see on this side of eternity how God was working in our most painful experiences. But I can let the way God worked in Joseph’s story be a reminder of His faithfulness in my story.
sin itself contains punishment built in.
YOUR OFFENDER IS ALSO SUFFERING FROM PAIN.
It’s very hard to truly forgive someone without compassion.
For the fact that no human gets through life without being deeply, deeply hurt at some point.
Grief finds all of us.
THE PURPOSE OF FORGIVENESS IS NOT ALWAYS RECONCILIATION.
In some cases, keeping the relationship going is simply not an option. But that doesn’t mean forgiveness is not an option.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that trust is immediately restored or that hard relational dynamics are instantly fixed.
The point of forgiveness is to keep your heart swept clean, cooperating with God’s command to forgive and keeping yourself in a position to be able to receive God’s forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn’t always fix relationships, but it does help me...
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THE ENEMY IS THE REAL VILLAIN.
There is nothing more powerful than a person living what God’s Word teaches.
I cannot control things out of my control.
The more you allow their actions to cost you, the greater the debt will be that you eventually have to forgive.
forgiveness shouldn’t be an open door for people to take advantage of us. Forgiveness releases our need for retaliation, not our need for boundaries.
While we are affected by other people’s actions, we are not held accountable for their actions.
Compassion is key to forgiveness.
It’s for the sake of your sanity that you draw necessary boundaries. It’s for the sake of stability that you stay consistent with those boundaries.
