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Your pain is real. And so is mine. So, if no one has acknowledged this with you, I will.
That person or people—they’ve caused enough pain for you, for me, and for those around us. There’s been enough damage done. They’ve taken enough. You don’t have to hand over what was precious and priceless to you and deem all the memories as hurtful. You get to decide how you’ll move forward.
But you can decide that the one who hurt you doesn’t get to decide what you do with your memories. Your life can be a graceful combination of beautiful and painful. You don’t have to put either definitive label on what once was. It can be both-and.
I want to remember that vacation we took that we all loved without zeroing in on the fact that it’s also when I didn’t know what was going on. We were still making incredible memories full of laughter, sharing inside jokes, crazy competitive games, silly dances, and long dinner conversations. It was real and it was lovely. And I’m not willing to deny what I authentically experienced.
I want to look at that Christmas card we sent—with all of us dressed up and smiling—and not cringe, feeling like a fool or a fake. The family closeness we captured that day was real and so precious and completely true to me.
I am a soul who likes the concept of forgiveness . . . until I am a hurting soul who doesn’t.
The ability to see beautiful again is what I want for you and for me. Forgiveness is the weapon. Our choices moving forward are the battlefield. Moving on is the journey. Being released from that heavy feeling is the reward. Regaining the possibility of trust and closeness is the sweet victory. And walking confidently
with the Lord from hurt to healing is the freedom that awaits.
It’s hard to give. It’s amazing to get. But when we receive it freely from the Lord and refuse to give it, something heavy starts to form in our souls.
And you and I can forgive, even if the relationship never gets restored. It’s so incredibly freeing to forgive and not have to wait on other people who may or may not ever want to or be willing to talk all of this through. Forgiveness isn’t always about doing something for a human relationship but rather about being obedient to what God has instructed us to do.
WHAT YOU GIVE UP: the right to demand that the one who hurt you pay you back or be made to suffer for what they’ve done. God will handle this. And even if you never see how God handles it, you know He will.
The scenery for your life should not be the pit of pain that person dragged you down into. There’s so much more to see and discover and experience. Let go of clawing your way through the muddy pit, hoping there’s some reward buried there. There’s not. Take God’s hand, and, as the words of forgiveness are released from your lips, it’s like scattering seeds of beautiful flowers. The mud of the pit becomes fertile soil with potential. And before long you’ll be dancing through all that has blossomed and bloomed around you.
