Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

by Lysa TerKeurst

Do I acknowledge what was hard but feel a sense of calm and peace? •Can I sincerely pray for them when they’re facing difficult things? •Can I manage my emotions when good things happen to them? •Am I eager to share a helpful perspective with others facing a similar situation, hoping to help them get to a better place? •Can I look for what is good in other people? •Do I look for life lessons and collect those instead of grudges? •What hurt might my offender have suffered that would have led them to do what they did? Can I have compassion for the offender’s brokenness? •Can I be authentically kind to this person who was unkind to me, even with the boundaries I may need to draw?

THERE IS A HEALED VERSION OF ME THAT IS WAITING AND WANTING TO EMERGE. I am capable of letting go of my proof. Proof only keeps me trapped in the place where the pain occurred, so I keep getting hurt over and over again. I will reject the seduction of nursing my grudges, and I will stop assuming God didn’t intervene to help me. Instead of running away I will run to God when I need help. Perspective is what I’m holding on to and what I’m carrying from here. I have collected the dots. Connected the dots. And corrected the dots. Now I am choosing to believe God’s most merciful outcome is the one I’m living. I’m not a victim. I am a healed woman walking in victory.

Remember: resentful proof locked inside of you never exercised justice. It never made someone else change or righted a wrong. It never made someone repent for all they’d done. It only hurt you and imprisoned you behind the label of victim.

“Hope is the melody of the future. Faith is dancing to that melody right now.”