A Tourist's Guide to Murder (Mystery Bookshop #6)

by V.M. Burns

“The only thing that would make this better would have been a little dollop of whipped cream.” I smiled. “Oh, I can make some.” “Make it?” She stared at me. “Who died and made you Martha Stewart?” I grabbed the heavy cream from the fridge and pulled out my new mini food chopper. “Dawson asked for one of these for Christmas, and they were so cute, I got one for myself too.” I poured the cream into the chopper along with a tablespoon of sugar and a splash of vanilla. Then, I pulsed the chopper for ten seconds.

Clive Green finished by introducing himself as a twenty-year veteran of the Metropolitan Police, also known as Scotland Yard. When his position was made redundant, he took his years of knowledge of crime and the criminal underworld of Great Britain and joined forces with Major Horace Peabody in the Mystery Tours. He finished by reviewing the itinerary for the next day.

“My point is that my blood pressure isn’t high because of a lack of blood pressure medication. If my blood pressure is too high, then he needs to figure out the root cause of the problem and treat that.”

“I mean, there used to be a time when doctors would put you on a diet and suggest exercise or more sleep, but now they don’t even try. They just give you a pill and send you on your merry way.” She pursed her lips and tapped her head. “Well, I told him he’s going to need to put those brain cells to work before he puts me on some pills for the rest of my life.”

Ruby Mae shook her head and mumbled, “Bless his heart.” I’ve known Ruby Mae long enough to know that rather than a prayer, she was using the phrase as it was used in the southern United States, which roughly translated to, You poor pitiful fool.

Cotswolds was exactly what I imagined when I read historic cozy mysteries set in small English villages, like Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple mysteries and Heron Carvic’s Miss Seeton mysteries.

Lavender gasped and clapped her hands. “How wonderful. I love mysteries, but I don’t know what differentiates them. What exactly is a cozy mystery?” This was a question I was well prepared for, having answered it many times in my life. I went through the spiel I had fine-tuned over the years. “Cozy mysteries, or cozies, are mysteries that feature an amateur sleuth, which is usually a woman but doesn’t have to be. They are often set in a small town, and they don’t have excessive violence, sex, or bad language.” I smiled. “It’s all about the clues and figuring out whodunit.”

“How did you come to open your own bookstore? I love books, and I think that might be something that I can do to support myself.” I explained to her that it was something my husband, Leon, and I always dreamed about doing because we were such big mystery fans. “I think the idea of being surrounded by books and sharing that love of mysteries with other people who love mysteries too had a lot to do with it.” I thought about Leon and smiled. “I remember one night Leon had just finished reading a mystery by Stuart Kaminsky. It was a Porfiry Rostnikov mystery. I think it was the fourth book in the series. Anyway, it was late, and he wanted the next book in the series. There was no local bookstore in North Harbor where we could get mysteries. The closest bookstore was in River Bend, Indiana, which was thirty minutes away.” I looked across at her and smiled as the memory came back. “This was before you could just go online and download the books. It must have been ten o’clock at night, and he threw his clothes on over his pajamas and drove like a crazy man to get to the big-box bookstore before it closed.” I chuckled. “He made it with ten minutes to spare and picked up the next three books in the series. On the drive home, all he talked about was how nice it would be to own a mystery bookshop where we could get any book we wanted whenever we wanted.” I sat there and allowed the warmth of the memory to flood my being. “How nice,” Lavender whispered. I laughed at her reverential to...

Sunil explained the dishes were pappadums and chutneys, lotus root and puff chaat, and a double order of masala chicken skins. He also brought martinis, which he mentioned were on draft. Our next course included Amritsari fried fish pao, BBQ butter chicken wings, and Afghani lamb cannon kebab skewers. He then brought achari beef short ribs, Sikandari kid goat shoulder, tawa prawn biryani, and a full rack of tandoori lamb chops.

The biggest surprise for me was the trip through the Forest of Dean. I erroneously assumed that the name meant a heavily wooded area with lots of wildlife and devoid of people. The Forest of Dean is an area that encompasses the three counties of Gloucestershire, Herefordshire, and Monmouthshire. It includes woodlands and game and has been a royal hunting retreat, but there are also villages, and the area is better known for ironworking and mining. The area’s most recent claim to fame is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I and II, as it was used as the filming location. The Cotswolds was also the setting for countless mysteries, including Andrew Taylor’s Lydmouth series, Edward Marston’s historical mystery The Owls of Gloucester, Rebecca Tope’s Cotswold Mysteries, and M. C. Beaton’s Agatha Raisin Mystery Series.