Den of Vipers

by K.A. Knight

I’m the fucking Grim Reaper.

Fuck, now there’s blood on my floor. I just mopped!

Diesel’s face splits with a grin. “I think I’m in love. Do you think she would shoot me if I ask?”

Feeling around with my hand for my gun, I freeze. This isn’t my usual crappy bedding…this is fucking silk. Who the hell has silk bedding?

Vipers? Bitch, please, I bite too.

We all bleed the same colour, and we are all just searching for something to make the truth of our souls disappear so we feel like good people.

Of course they have fucking talking appliances.

Everyone’s a sinner in one way or another. You can cover it in roses and use excuses, but it’s all the same.

“I’m not a fucking dog,” I mutter. “Then stop acting like a bitch.”

Diesel smirks and backs away, but I see him pocket a grenade, great.

“And one of you has to go out on a date with her brother. Probably to a brothel.”

Now, fun fact, eyes don’t just melt, they burst.

You act like a walking, talking dick, so you must be a dildo.”

That’s what she is. A work of art. One I’m going to stare at for the rest of my life.

“What’s your issue? Scared of pussy, or are you just really so self-destructive and filled with hate that you can only get it up by hurting someone?”

I saunter away, their eyes still locked on me. “I think I just came,” I hear Diesel say. Garrett snorts. “You’re nasty.” “You telling me you didn’t just get hard?” Diesel asks loudly. “I ain’t talking about my cock with you,” he replies as I giggle.

“Slapped me with his cock.” I gawk and then burst into laughter. She grins but props her hand on her hip. “Seriously, Garrett, whose first thought is to slap an intruder with their cock?” She throws her hands in the air.

“It’s too fucking early for your crazy,”

“I love you, Little Bird. You’re the gasoline to my fire.

yes, that’s right, bitches, my dress has pockets.

“Garrett texted me, he needs our help, come on, autobots, unite!” I call, making one of them snort.

She’s got nice tits. Shit, focus, Rox.

Headbutts are not fun. Headbutts hurt, kids.

I ain’t the praying type, but right now, I’m praying to anyone who will listen, God and Satan, ’cause let’s face it, if anyone is gonna have our backs, it’s probably my dude Satan.

“The fuck you all look so morbid for,” Garrett rasps, then coughs.

“No, that fucking idiot. I don’t have enough blood left for a hard-on, so shut up.”

And then he gives me a hand. In a box.

But they ignore me, the stupid wankstains and their stupid, seductive penises. Peni? What’s the plural of penis? Oh, who the fuck cares.