‘The thing is, if we had harsh parents or other authority figures, we tend to become critical about ourselves, and instead of our inner-parent part taking care of us, cherishing us and treating us lovingly, it can often shout at us, say awful things – like that we’re useless or no good. Are you with me?’ Nora nods, and Janet gives her a reassuring smile. ‘So, what we really need to do is to take the very best of each of our parents, and mould our inner parent from that. And we can also add bits we’ve learned from other people too – people who show us a way to be kind to ourselves.’
