Fated Throne (Zodiac Academy, #6)

by Caroline Peckham

“Grapefruits in a snowstorm, it cannot be!”

"Oh, thank golly for small miracles, I thought you might have been napping like a narwhal in November and you'd have missed out on my buttery bagels while they were still fresh from the bun oven,"

“Oh fudge fancies on a Thursday, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.”

"You truly are one beastly specimen of a man, Darius Acrux. No wonder my lady Tory is so enamoured with your swollen banana. I did sometimes wonder if she'd been drinking at the moose juice when she kept falling under your spell, but getting a close up look at your man-parcel really has me all of a dither-"

"Well stop staring at Darius's dick then," he growled. "Excuse you, sir, but I am doing no such thing! For one, the delicious Dragon has not revealed his man ham for the room to peruse at leisure, so I was only appreciating the powerful physique which he uses to please my lady! And for two, I would never lay so much as a chin whisker upon the flesh of the man my lady is destined to love by all the stars in the sky! I am merely expressing my approval for his ability to pleasure her physically, even if his personality has left a lot to be desired-"

"You seem to be under the misguided impression that I belong to you just because I tangled with your tentacles once or twice, but you are very much mistaken in that belief!

“Well, lately,” she lowered her voice. “My Lady Petunia craves to have her garden watered by one single devilish dandelion.”