into a stream of words I can’t put back in my mouth. “Why would they call it a cock chafer if it rolls over and moves by doing crunches on its back? If anything it’s totally doing the opposite of cock chafing. I mean, regular bugs who drag their undercarriage over the ground are probably always chafing their nuggets, but this guy is intentionally crawling upside down to keep his downstairs business off the sidewalk,” I said, and the neighbor stared at me like I was crazy so I was like, “Unless his penis is on his back? Is that what you’re saying? Does this bug have a back penis? Or are you
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