If you perform a root-cause analysis on almost any social conflict, you can ultimately trace it back to a lack of humility, respect, and/or trust. That might sound implausible at first, but give it a try. Think about some nasty or uncomfortable social situation currently in your life. At the basest level, is everyone being appropriately humble? Are people really respecting one another? Is there mutual trust?
Try to focus the arguing on the problem, not the people. Structure (meeting structure or doc structure) can help with this. Court rooms —the judicial process, really — try to do this.
