Negative Space

by B.R. Yeager

The truth never makes sense unless you force it to, just like anything.

This, of course, forces a question: how sure can we be of our own autonomy? And to those who would shout this question down outright: Of course we are not wasps. But though we may appear superior and vastly more complex we abide by similar laws. As far as science has determined, our “self” is nothing more than a product of nerves and neurons and hormones and chemicals. From that foundation, the question becomes many: What forces are we unable to sense that nonetheless influence our existence? Is it possible for us to become aware of these forces? And, perhaps most terribly, what do these forces intend for us?

No, you don’t. You live once, you die once.

Someday I’ll wake up and it’ll be like my life’s already over, because it’ll be dozens of years from now already and I’m still the same. Sets of mirrors facing each other, expanding space and me and every moment I’ve been here. Nobody knows me, because I haven’t left anything for them, and I can’t stand to look half of them in the eye.

Picture a scalene right triangle with its longest side pointed toward heaven. At its base on the right angle is the Mind; at the angle opposite lies the Body. The Spirit resides at the top, advancing toward heaven though never quite reaching. It is distant from the Mind, but even more so from the Body. This is Man’s State. When Man’s State inverts, these positions shift. Mind remains at the right angle, but now Spirit shares its base. Body occupies the highest point. Here, it is essential to remember this schema represents not a hierarchy, but a state of yearning. Man’s State yearns toward Spirit, while its inverse yearns toward the Body, for all things yearn toward what they do not (or no longer) possess. The Man inverts his State through ritual and extremity of experience. This extremity may be reached through ecstasy or trauma; meditation or hallucination; or a combination. Onanism or flagellation are commonly employed by many; religious practice and drug ingestion by others. Death, of course, represents the highest state of inversion, though not all who die attain it. Importantly, there is no “proper” path toward attaining inversion. Rather, one must conduct himself in alignment with the truth of his will. Only then can he rebuild the world.

The most important thing anyone can know is this: just by existing, by inhabiting this planet and space, we are put into communion with entities we cannot begin to understand, in manners we cannot begin to understand. We float on the surface of an unfathomable ocean, and though we may stick our hands, our feet, our faces beneath, we can never go much farther without drowning. Once made aware of this, a man can no longer see the Earth as a sphere. It is a serpent. It is a length of rope, forever curling around our persons.

Using the neuron model for consciousness, physicists have determined that a thought (defined as a piece of information), when converted from neuro electricity to mass, possesses weight roughly equal to that of a water molecule. And regardless of its humble size, this

measurement still demonstrates thought/information manifesting in the realm of physical; a real energy.

Importantly, information only enters the physical upon interpretation. A man sees a piece of art. In the process of interpreting that art, information manifests as a thought—not just conceptually, but, as elucidated above, physically. Here, an essential questio...

Time compresses the older you get. Days turn to weeks turn to months turn to seasons turn to years, until your life resides in just one moment expanding forever, where each step and breath folds wrinkles into your face, carving minute, irreversible wounds between your joints. Pressing down the notches between your spine, driving your ankles and knees to ruin. I feel it now and it’ll only be worse in the future. I woke up. Tyler stood over

“One day, no one will ever know you were here.”

Maybe the afterlife was just one final trip, seconds stretched out into forever because the mind can’t recognize its own end.