Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

by Patrick King

It’s just to understand that we all send certain signals when we interact with others, and children send very unique ones that typically open us up and make interactions fun and entertaining. Within the first few seconds of an interaction, you can set the stage for the kind of engagement that is open, engrossing, novel and genuinely kind. You can treat the interaction as a brand-new, never-before-seen experience, and make your conversation partner feel like they’ve never been more listened to. Or you can unconsciously send signals that tell the other person, “I’m not really interested in this conversation.” Of course, the only way you can do any of this is if you’re a) aware about it in the first place and b) skillful enough to take charge of how you’re coming across, and adjust it according to what you’re trying to achieve. In this book, what we’re trying to achieve is pretty straightforward: that awesome feeling of really connecting with another human being, making friends, and “clicking.” As it happens, this is one of the easiest “frames” to maintain—a child could do it, literally.