Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

by Olivia Telford

Logical errors are self-defeating patterns that keep you trapped in an unhealthy state of mind.

“cognitive distortions:”[xix]

For example, a man might believe that his marriage and life in general will improve if and when his wife joins a gym, works out more, and loses the weight she gained after they got married.

we don’t always have control over the final outcome.

we cannot control their actions.

People with depression often use the word “should” a lot, both in reference to themselves and others.

“blowing everything out of proportion” or “making mountains out of molehills,” catastrophizing

9. Filtering

gray-tinted glasses

When you blame someone else for your own emotional state, you are surrendering your power.

In reality, most people go through their daily lives thinking only about themselves.

Over the next few days, challenge yourself to spot your distortions.

There are three steps:[xxi] 1. Identifying an unhelpful thought 2. Weighing up the evidence for and against the thought 3. Coming up with a rational, more helpful alternative

Depression drains you of energy, leaving you asking, “What’s the point in doing anything?”

to deliberately engage in positive activity again, even when you don’t want to.

Progress isn’t always linear when it comes to recovering from depression.

The trick is to just keep going.

Remember: you need to identify an unhelpful thought, look carefully at the evidence for and against it, and then come up with a healthier alternative thought.

You never get the chance to learn that it isn’t so scary after all.

You put these situations in a hierarchy, starting with the least scary situation.

“fear ladder.”

You need to stick it out and prove that panic attacks aren’t the end of the world.

Intrusive Thoughts are Normal – It’s Your Reaction That Makes the Difference

Instead, you need to interrupt your responses to the thoughts and learn to tolerate anxiety.

You need to break the reassurance habit.

Procrastination is choosing to delay or not complete a task for no good reason, even though doing so will have negative consequences.

Unfortunately, as we all know, ignoring a task doesn’t make it go away.

But the harsh truth is that life is a mix of pleasure and pain, and the two go together.

Paradoxically, the better you are at accepting discomfort, the easier your work will be.

You don’t have to pretend that a dull task is enjoyable, but you can take a moment to savor the satisfaction you’ll get when it’s complete.

If you wait to feel inspired before beginning, especially if the task is dull, you could be waiting forever.

Try to reframe difficulties as a learning experience.

Work through your tasks in this order: Urgent and important, urgent and unimportant, non-urgent and important, and non-urgent and unimportant.

If you are prone to guilt and regret, you probably have a habit of assuming too much responsibility.

The strange and sad thing is that most of us have no trouble being kind and compassionate to our friends, but we are very harsh on ourselves.

Responsibility Pie.

Look at the pie and remind yourself that most life events have multiple causes.

“I need to feel guilty forever because I need to punish myself for what I’ve done.”

You cannot go back in time and change the past.

Clinging to your guilt gives you an excuse to be lazy.

This is why

you have to rely on yourself for closure;

you won’t always get it from s...

It’s a gentle reminder that the world doesn’t revolve around you.

Reality: You have a choice after a lapse. You can indulge in “doom and gloom” thinking, which will only make you feel worse. Or you can look at the situation, try to learn from it, and vow to do better next time.

“Friends” Who Make You Feel Bad Aren’t Your Friends

Jealousy is often rooted in a feeling that you aren’t good enough.[lxxi]

People who accept themselves know that worth isn’t a zero-sum game.

They might resort to sabotage as a form of revenge, or just to make it clear how unhappy they are.

Assertive behavior: An assertive person tries to balance their needs with those of others.