Breasts and Eggs

by Mieko Kawakami

Beauty meant that you were good. And being good meant being happy.

“Life is tough, but you gotta keep living until you die, you know what I mean? Sometimes you just need to escape, from your own life.”

“I guess it makes you ask yourself what kind of man you’ve had a child with. I mean, what a miserable life, right? Still, though, our kids. We need to do the right thing, for them.”

We live in this place, in this world,

where we can share our words but not our thoughts.

“They say ‘good friends are hard to find.’ It’s true. It’s so hard to find people who actually listen, who try to understand your words, who try to understand you. It’s basically luck. At least that’s how I see it. It’s...

vital, if you’re going to ...

Things were hard when I had no one watching out for me, but at least I’d been free to do as I pleased.

“Being a parent means placing your child’s wellbeing, your child’s happiness, above your own. That’s what it takes. But donor conception is all about the parents, about

their egos. Having a child has always been determined by forces beyond our control, by nature. But with donor conception, it’s all about ego. Foremost, the egos of the parents, but also the egos of the doctors, who view the life they bring into the world as an end that glorifies the means.

Family matters, it matters more than anything. Children need to be raised by real families, in real homes, in an atmosphere full of love and responsibility. Every child brought into this world, by artificial insemination or otherwise, is an example of the gift of life, and I believe

their life deserves to be cherished. Thank you.”

Life is hard, no matter the circumstances.

you never really hear about husbands taking their kids home, I mean without their

wives, now do you? Know why? Because it doesn’t happen. Things need to look a certain way.

You need to show everyone you’re happily married and all that. Besides, most men can’t even talk to their own ...

It’s pathetic, really. They’ll just sit around the room...

everything around the house up to...

What’s wrong with you? Having a child is a totally natural part of being a woman—How could it possibly take that much out of you? My mom did it. Every woman

does it. Get over

Dying is totally natural. Get over it.”

despise

Yeah, my mom was free labor—free labor with a pussy.”

family is the root of all suffering.

Just look at me now, free labor with a pussy, same as my mom.”

But I wasn’t getting anywhere. I couldn’t move; in fact, I was being pulled away, slipping further every second from the blinding light of that reality.

horrendous,

decent

I guess some people still think women instinctively want to have babies, like we’re just doing what our genes demand of us. But I never really felt that way myself. At every stage in my life, I feel like I did what I had to do, and that was enough. But maybe it depends on how you think about it.

me, not having children was perfectly natural. Really, all I’ve done is live my life, taking each day as it comes.”

Written anonymously, their indelicate messages were stricken with lament, misery, ridicule, belligerence, commiseration, and self-pity.

“Maybe this is a very special

day. The day that someone finally understood how kind you truly are.”

“Life became so complicated for me once I found out. Of course, it’s not like everything was simple before. But things changed.

envisioned

They can’t do anything around the house without making a ton of noise, not even close the fridge or turn the lights on. They can’t take care of anyone else. They can’t even take care of themselves. They won’t do anything for their kids or their families if it means sacrificing their own comfort, but they go

out in the world and act all big, like I’m such a good dad, such a provider. Idiots. This guy was unable to take any kind of criticism. It’s something I guess he never had to do.

I mean, a man can never understand what really matters to a woman. Ever. When you say this sort of thing, people are quick to call you narrow-minded,

minded, or say you’ve never known true love or whatever.

They say you can’t lump all men together like that, but sadly it’s just the truth. No man will ever understand the things that really matter to a woman. ...

“How much it hurts to be a woman. If you say that, though, people look at you like you’re throwing yourself a pity party. They’ll tell you how men have a lot of pain to deal with, too . . . but sure. Who said they didn’t? They’re alive, now, aren’t they? Of course they live with pain. The difference

is, who’s putting them through that pain? How can they make it better? Who’s to blame for hurting all these men?”

“There will come a time when women stop having babies. Or, I don’t know, we’ll reach a point where the whole process can be separated from women’s bodies, and we can look back at this time, when women and men tried to live together and raise families,

as some unfortunate episode in human history.”

“It would mean a whole lot more than another stupid novel, not like your

last novel was stupid. You could give women something real. Real hope. Precedent. Empowerment. You don’t need a partner. A woman can make the decision to have a child and go through with it alone.”

palpitating.

“Here’s the thing, though. I genuinely don’t think I’ve had a bad life. I don’t need anyone’s pity. Whatever it is I’ve had to live through, it’s nothing compared to being born.”

“It’s really simple, I promise. Why is it that people think this is okay? Why do people see no harm in having children? They do it with smiles on their faces, as if it’s not an act of violence.

You force this other being into the world, this other being that never asked to be born. You do this absurd thing because that’s what you want for yourself, and that doesn’t make any sense.”