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April 18 - May 5, 2022
Circumstances always change. And they often do so as a result of our actions.
Is this true? How much control do we really have over changing circumstances that have the biggest effects on our lives?
Every mistake become a lesson from which to acquire insight. Every perceived slight becomes an opportunity to nurture valued relationships. Every regrettable decision becomes a chance to reexamine your intentions and ensure they align with your values.
Mistakes are opportunities. How much we learn depends on how we reflect on our mistakes.
The moment we’re confident that a situation will work out exactly as we anticipate, we encounter unforeseen circumstances that threaten to make a mess out of things.
Maybe we overestimate our control over situations. Make "plans" when things are going well assuming it will forever go well and fall into despair when things are overwhelming fretting that the pain will never subside.
Mentally strong people are hyper self-aware.
This is a good thought. Suffering, in context of reality not being what we crave, is exacerbated because we are confused and ignorant about our sub-conscious needs. Does strength = hyper self awareness? If we gain acute self awareness, we may be able to catch our thoughts and reactions to circumstances before we suffer because of them and adjust our mind-state accordingly.
The deciding factor is usually insecurity. Insecurity breeds inaction, which is a much larger threat to your success.
Inaction is a bigger threat to your success than failure. However you may wait until the right action arises. That is patience (TTC)
When we repeatedly indulge in immediate gratification, we train our minds to associate low effort with high reward.
Social media, pornography, junk Food
Clarify your values.
From time to time. We slowly but surely change every day. New experiences are gained everyday that realign our values slowly. If we stubbornly stick to what ought to be our values from the past, it'll lead to an inauthentic and a confusing life.
Our habits signify what is important to us.
This statement is true. If x is important to us but we are stuck in some loop that results in y, then we truly value y > x. If health is important to us but we keep eating junk food (because it's easy, we don't have time - other excuses) then the low effort high reward is important to us.
Confidence also stems from our ability to adapt.
Almost faith-like. Having faith in yourself may stem from going through hardships and coming out stronger on the other side. Repeatedly adapting to circumstances that test your resolve fosters self-confidence in your own adaptability.
it draws a hard line in the sand between success and failure. You either succeed or you fail.
Catastrophizing - Extrapolating small mistakes or deviations from your "perfect world" into worst case scenarios and then trapping yourself in this mental reality you have created for yourself.
Whenever you feel the impulse to do something you enjoy, meditate for five minutes before acting on the impulse.
Try on things that require low effort high reward - junk food, tv, pornography, social media etc. Meditate here would mean just observing thoughts and feelings that arise when we 'anticipate' following through.
When you feel frustrated, annoyed, or otherwise troubled, embrace these feelings. Don’t avoid them. Acknowledge them without giving in to them. The more you do so, the more you’ll strengthen your impulse control.
What does giving in to them entail? Continuing line of thoughts that go "I am...." - the first person narrative makes you give in to these negative feelings. Disengage and create an observer sphere that's looking at your body/mind from some distance
Giving in to them also means reacting to them. You react to alleviate frustration or annoyance with something/someone but then often create another cycle of the same feelings. Communicating our annoyance in order to understand where it stems from is good but reacting to it by way of outbursts or anger only further increase our misery.
“Secret” #5: Commit to doing nothing but the task in front of you.
One thing at a time. Flow State. Doing anything other than task in front of you, robs you of your present experience.
we should be clear about the payoff we stand to enjoy for anything we do.
Does having a clear vision for the task at hand let you enter flow state? Not sure. Maybe it increases motivation so we can hold our focus for longer, once we become cognizant of what we want to achieve with the task.
If your vision has changed, giving up may be the right option.
~ Clarifying your values
The truth is, there’s nothing bad about boredom. In fact, it can be a gift. Rather than trying to fill the void, we should enjoy - even celebrate - the downtime.
Too addicted to dopamine hits to appreciate boredom. Must learn how to. Detox. Why do we constantly crave stimulation? Are we trying to be distracted and not be alone with our thoughts? (Suppression). Is stimulation craving an escape from existential crises of sorts? (Avoidance). Boredom may feel unproductive but can we transform it to feeling like freedom?
-Freedom is lack of chains/shackles that compel us to act/behave in a way that don't align with our core values? (In this sense, boredom is a privilege - I can afford to be bored??)
- Can we cultivate "disciplined boredom?"
- We are completely free when bored --> can lead to creativity, or relaxation. Disciplined b/c unchecked boredom may lead to undesirable actions caused by old habits etc.
- Disciplined boredom --> freedom.
- Discipline: Mind's ability to not attach itself or to let go when needed (thoughts/emotions etc)
- Disciplined mind is the one that doesn't chase or run away.
If you plan to develop expertise in a skill or craft, boredom should be an expectation.
It's not always exciting when you develop a high level skill - instead of learning new exciting skills everyday, you just scrape at the edges to find subtler more mundane insights
The more control we feel we possess, the more confidence we’ll have that we can overcome obstacles and resolve complications.
I wonder if this is true. Personally, when I feel I have more control, the reality does 180 and thwarts my idea of control. Only when I cede control, I operate from a place where I don't chase favorable outcomes.
Every time we fail to achieve our desired outcome, we gain a deeper understanding of the relationship between our decisions and actions and the net result.
Not sure if this is true. There are so many intangible forces acting around your life everyday that your actions may have very little bearing on the net result.
effective because, according to psychologists, the brain doesn’t differentiate between actual experiences and imagined experiences. Because
I guess using visualizations in day to day life is a strong tool then.
success relies on our ability to resist our impulses.
This is true. How you define success is upto you though
