The Mental Toughness Handbook: A Step-By-Step Guide to Facing Life's Challenges, Managing Negative Emotions, and Overcoming Adversity with Courage and Poise

by Damon Zahariades

I provided a simple definition earlier: mental toughness is durability in the face of adversity. But there’s a lot going on in that definition, so let’s unpack it. First, it involves our reaction to stress. Do we crumble or persist? Do we give up or stay the course? Second, it involves our responses to our emotions. What do we do when we feel frustrated? How do we deal with our anger and disappointment when life seems unfair to us? Third, it involves our resilience. When things go wrong in our lives, do we dust ourselves off and get back on track or complain and blame others for our predicaments? Fourth, it involves our grit. When we face roadblocks to achieving our goals, do we press onward or concede defeat?

Take action, even when you’re uncertain of the outcome. This will train your mind to be proactive.

Habit #1: View your past as training for overcoming future adversity. We tend to let our past define us. We allow earlier events, along with our responses to them, to decide who we are. Our values and convictions are often entwined with what has happened before in our lives. Sever this connection. Condition your mind to view your past as nothing more than training for the future. Things happened. You responded. Perhaps you made mistakes. Now, it’s time to learn from them. Your past is merely instruction that provides you with insight into how best to respond down the road.

Love this mindset ❤️

To stay mentally strong and achieve their goals, they practice “segmentation.” They break down their larger goals into micro goals. For example, rather than focusing on completing a 20-mile run, they focus on reaching the tree they see in their path in the distance. Once they reach the tree, they focus on scaling a hill that’s within sight. And so on until they complete their run. Application: Break down intimidating projects into small steps. Ideally, these steps can be completed within a single day.

Application: If you’re worried about something you need to do, visualize doing it successfully. For example, suppose you’re concerned about a big presentation you’re expected to give at your workplace. Close your eyes and see yourself giving the presentation. Take yourself through each step, each part of your speech, and each slide. Visualize completing your presentation and responding confidently to the audience’s questions. See yourself in the ideal state you hope to experience.

#2 - Ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen?” Even when life is good and everything is going right, self-doubt can creep in. You’ll begin to second-guess your decisions and hesitate before acting in fear that you’ll make mistakes. Self-doubt is a natural and healthy part of our psychology. It helps us to make good decisions, encourages us to do our best work, and protects us from negative outcomes. The problem is, it can also paralyze us. It can consume our thoughts, promoting fear and indecision, thereby becoming a liability. This exercise counters this effect. When you find yourself in doubt, vacillating rather than taking action, ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen if I do XYZ?” The answer will reveal that mistakes are rarely disastrous.

When life throws us a curve ball, a predicament that deviates from our plans, we’re left with two options: adapt with resolve or react with emotion. Top performers in every area of life choose the former. It’s not easy. No one is born with innate resolve. No one is gifted at birth with emotional mastery and psychological resilience. We learn these things by experiencing obstacles, pressure, and distress.