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And the old man didn’t have to preach to me about love, because I know the magnitude of my emotions toward her, even if they’re wrong and shouldn’t be there with our past and the short amount of time we have truly known each other.
“No, because I can’t stand seeing my woman in the arms of another man.” Charlie’s eyes widen in shock, and to be fucking honest, so do mine that I even shared this much with him. “So, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to talk to my fiancée. Without causing a scene,” I add, for whose sake I don’t know.
“Mine and only mine,” I say, hiking her higher before pulling back and slamming inside her again, making us both groan. “Yes, only yours.” Her lips trail over my ear as she murmurs into it, “No one else’s.” She fists my hair, jerking my head back so our eyes meet. “Now fuck me hard so the whole world knows it too.”
“Is it possible to love someone… but still not be able to forgive them? I can never forget what he did. But I also don’t know how to handle this betraying heart of mine anymore. I’m at a crossroad, standing in front of two long paths. Neither of them is easy nor pretty. One of them has unknown written all over it, while the other… Has a man standing at the end of it waiting for me to cross the line to him, his hand extended to me. What do I do? In this battle between my pain and heart, who wins?” Phoenix
Oh, God, is this what Phoenix has felt in the last years, the agony that rips you in two and doesn’t even let you breathe properly for fear of the pain poisoning your blood to the point of you not being able to function?
“Take me to the land where sinners atone,” I whisper without thinking, to no one in particular, “where sinners have second chances.”
That’s what it is, right? Love in its rawest form, love that can never be called beautiful for how ugly it is. For if a man loves a woman, does he hurt her so much she no longer wants to live?
“Sebastian’s love was the only one I knew, so I thought that’s what love was supposed to be.” She shakes her head. “But it’s not true. Sometimes, love is not the calm during the storm. Sometimes, love is the
ship in the storm withstanding ocean waves one after another along with the rain, in such a way you don’t know if you’ll survive it. The world around you might end at any moment, yet you are with the person you love and who stands by you no matter what. Such love reminds me more of an obsession built on lust and need. It’s not healthy. It’s probably not right either.”
“My worst nightmare… but my only salvation. The devil and the angel, the man I hate and love at the same time.”
Thousands of thoughts flash in my mind at her confession, wanting to say so much, yet I manage to utter only, “I love you, Phoenix.” She freezes, swallows hard, and closes her eyes for a moment before snapping her brown orbs to me again with some of the sadness gone from them. “I love you too, Zachary. The crazy kind of love that should be illegal.”
Love. “I love you, Phoenix.” “I love you too, Zach.” Tonight, I’ve made a choice. And no matter how wrong it is… never has a choice in my life seemed more right.
