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‘Drinking.’ She glared disapprovingly in Eadmund’s direction. ‘That’s not what you’d be doing if you were truly happy.
There's some real insight into alcoholism with Eadmund's struggle in this series.
He was already visualising his first drink of the day, desperate to take the edge off all this talk of marriage and his many failings as a man.
Yup.
She was not an overly annoying sort of girl – she was far too dull for that
Now that's just rude.
The idea that Eroth had known he would have a great-great-granddaughter in need of a sword on her wedding day? It was wonderfully unsettling, and Jael embraced the wildness of it.
trying to reclaim the memory of Melaena’s long-seen face. It was almost impossible now. She had faded in his mind, or maybe it was his mind that had faded from too much drink?
He’d been quite happy to let the past consume him. Secretly hoping that one day it would devour him whole.
his shoulders slumped in disappointment. At himself. Again.
There was no point in trying to help him; he couldn’t even help himself.
All I know is that if I can get up and get into that Pit each morning, there’s a chance.’
No one will be able to command you.
These symbols are the gateposts to your soul and your mind. They will protect them both.’
He sat impatiently on his large wooden chair inside his ugly little hall on his small pathetic island, stroking his finely groomed beard.
sloppy affection
the coward in him didn’t want to be responsible for breaking her heart.
Every part of his body was trying to convince his mind that going back to sleep was the best way to deal with the situation.
Or ale. If he could just find more ale.
Eadmund hung his head as it swum with memories and fears, but no direction.
He wanted to be all those things everyone assumed he could be;
None of it was real.
He would rather stay in his cottage, where there was no one to judge him but himself.
The one judge you will NEVER impress.
I don’t know how Eadmund will cope with Ivaar being here. I imagine he’ll go back to being drunk all the time,’
‘Do you really think more ale will help?’ Isaura wondered, reading his mind. ‘Help?’ Eadmund shook his head. ‘No, but I will feel better for a while, and that’s enough for right now.’
This. This right here tells me that Rayne gets it.
‘If you only focus on the pain at the end, you’ll have an empty life, filled with fear and loneliness. Death will claim us all, eventually, you can’t stop that. But you can choose how you live before it does.
Hey, jackass, pay attention to this.
‘I’ve had three wives and loved two. Truly loved. And I recommend it very highly indeed. A bloody death awaits us all, my son, if we’re lucky, so we have to hold onto those few things that give us happiness. Otherwise, what’s the point of any of it? To just be miserable and alone until we die?’
I took the risk, and I found another six years of happiness I hadn’t expected. So, now I’m here, all alone, without Eskild or Rada, but with you and Eydis and a head full of memories. And I don’t regret any of it. If I’d let those chances slip away, I’d be like you now. Still broken. In pieces. Trying to drink enough ale so that I didn’t feel any of it.’ Eadmund looked away, uncomfortable, and Eirik grabbed his arm harder. ‘But Jael is here. Your chance for happiness is here. Now.’ Eirik shook his head. ‘This isn’t about heirs or legacies, or being the king. You’re my son, Eadmund! Find a way
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The idea of cutting Ivaar to pieces was one of the better thoughts he’d had lately. The lure of ale remained ever-present, though, despite the ache in his head and the bile swimming around his throat.
He was right back at the beginning again, doubting the wisdom of even trying. What was the point anyway? He wouldn’t be able to keep it going.
‘You’re wasting your time!’ Eadmund snapped, throwing his sword away in frustration. ‘I’m wasting your time! There’s no point to any of this,’ he sighed, rubbing his neck. ‘All I’m thinking about is where I can get a drink from. I need some ale! I know I should care about swords and fighting and Ivaar, but I just don’t, not right now. Not while I don’t have a cup in my hand. It’s all I can think about, Thorgils.’ He looked up at his friend. ‘There’s no point in doing any of this because,’ he hung his head, ‘I’m always going to ruin it. I can’t see any way out of this feeling. It never leaves.
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yet what he was still living for, he did wonder at times. Every year brought with it more aches and ailments, and an ever decreasing amount of joy,
F@ck. Get out of my head.
‘I don’t need your help, Jael!’ he shouted crossly, not bothering to turn around. ‘I don’t need anyone’s help!’
Yeah, bud. You probably do. But I know where you're coming from.
no time for thinking
Heheheheh.
The Eadmund that was here now was not one she wanted to let slip through her fingers, despite the fact that she was still plagued by a regular urge to run away.
Running away is the Edmund she hates. Ironic that they're fighting the same instincts.
Jael was tired of sitting back and watching as men in crowns, and men with swords took what they wanted.
