many of the “unwanted identities” that cause us to feel shame stem from messages we heard growing up and the stereotypes we were taught by our parents or immediate caregivers. Sometimes, teachers, clergy and other important adults in our lives may have helped shape our thinking; however, parents and caregivers are by far the most influential. I would venture to say that, when it comes to the twelve shame categories, every family has identities they value and, likewise, unwanted identities that are seen as shameful, unacceptable or unworthy.
