When we ask and answer these big-picture questions, we begin to develop critical awareness. The next step is learning how to use this information to reality-check our shame triggers. We do that by looking at our shame triggers and asking these six reality-check questions: • How realistic are my expectations? • Can I be all these things all of the time? • Do the expectations conflict with each other? • Am I describing who I want to be or who others want me to be? • If someone perceives me as having these unwanted identities, what will happen? • Can I control how others perceive me? How do I
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