I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame

by Brené Brown

we are in relation to our roles as potential mothers. In some communities, the expectation of motherhood has many layers, including norms of what’s too young, what’s too old and what gender babies should be (as if mothers controlled this). Once women hit “the age” set by their community, they begin to feel the need to defend themselves against expectations of motherhood. Women are constantly asked why they haven’t married or, if they’re married, why they haven’t had children. Even women who are married and have one child are often asked why they haven’t had a second child. Women who have four or five kids are expected to explain why they had so many. Mother shame seems to be a birthright for girls and women. On top of the societal expectation that motherhood defines womanhood, there are some very rigid expectations about what the good mother looks like. There are some very desirable qualities associated with motherhood, and there are some characteristics that are universally unwanted. Interestingly, to be perceived as “trying too hard” was identified as an unwanted characteristic, not only for