Ties That Tether

by Jane Igharo

“Well.” He blinked rapidly, his glare quivering under the strain of mine. “You’re stubborn.” He knifed the steak again. “Your mother didn’t mention that. Personally, I prefer my women to be a lot more . . .” He pondered, eyes narrowed and darting as if considering some vast complexity, and then his stare stilled on me, and he said: “Submissive.”

“Azere, I am here to talk about the path you are currently on.” “Path? What path?” “You are single.” She says it like it’s a terminal disease. “I don’t know what is wrong with you. I have introduced you to several eligible men, and yet, here you are. Maybe you are being influenced by these modern

“Azere, how long before you settle down? How long? Or do you want to end up like Bridget Jones—single and in your late thirties? Is that the life you want for yourself? Eh?”

“But you’re a virgin, saving yourself for marriage.” “No. I’m not.” Initially, I planned to stay celibate until marriage. My mother’s numerous lectures about the importance of celibacy convinced me the devil would drag me to hell the moment I had premarital sex.

Your cousin is pregnant. Pregnant and unwed.” Now, she’s jumping and wailing. “What will people say? Who else will they blame but me, her mother? What will I tell the pastor? What will I tell my prayer group? How will I face the world? Zere, you have ruined me. Prepare my grave. Because I am dead. You have killed

How much more of yourself, of your culture will you lose to accommodate him in your life?

mean, the odds of marrying a Nigerian in Nigeria are incredibly high. And if this country is such a threat to our culture, you shouldn’t have brought me here. But you did. “You brought me to a country that has a culture of its own, a country that’s also home to people from all around the world, and you’ve expected