Ties That Tether

by Jane Igharo

“I think it’s an immigrant thing—the pressure to succeed as the other in their new home coupled with the fear of disappointing their family back at home.”

Immigrants chase success differently because we have something to prove to the people we left behind and the people who note our differences—our accent, our appearance, our religion, our culture—every day.

‘Azere, if you accidently swallowed poison, you would smile, pretending everything is okay rather than open your mouth and ask for a cure.’”

“Twenty-seven years,” I say. “That’s pretty impressive. How do you make it work?” They both turn to me, but it’s Christina’s mom who speaks. “Love, patience, respect, trust.”

But there was always this voice in the back of my head, reminding me we were too different.” Reminding me of what I could lose by being with him—my culture, my identity.

It’s only normal we learn about each other’s culture—I take on some of his, and he takes on some of mine. Doing that doesn’t mean he’s any less of an Italian and I’m any less of a Nigerian. It just means our world expanded, became richer.”

“Azere,” she says. “You are a good daughter.” “Of course. But only when I do what you want. Right? I’m a good daughter only when you can control me.”

“Mommy, you don’t love me enough. Your love, like your forgiveness, has conditions.”