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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Pema Chödrön
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November 5 - November 5, 2025
Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we are already.
In Buddha’s opinion, to train in staying open and curious—to train in dissolving the barriers that we erect between ourselves and the world—is the best use of our human lives.
This is what it takes to become involved with the sorrows of the world, to extend loving-kindness and compassion, joy and equanimity to everyone—no exceptions.
Awaken loving-kindness for someone slightly more distant, such as a friend or neighbor, again saying their name and aspiring for their happiness, using the same words. Awaken loving-kindness for someone about whom you feel neutral or indifferent, using the same words. Awaken loving-kindness for someone you find difficult or offensive. Let the loving-kindness grow big enough to include all the beings in the five steps above. (This step is called “dissolving the barriers.”) Say, “May I, my beloved, my friend, the neutral person, the difficult person all together enjoy happiness and the root of
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We don’t have to transform anything. Simply letting go of the story line is what it takes, which is not all that easy.
By practicing tonglen, you develop your sympathy for others. You begin to understand them better. Your own pain is like a stepping-stone that makes your heart bigger. It starts with creating space in which to relate directly to specific suffering—yours or someone else’s.
TAKING REFUGE in the sangha—other people on the path of the bodhisattva-warrior—doesn’t mean that we join a club where we’re all good friends, talk about basic goodness together, nod sagely, and criticize the people who don’t believe the way we do. Taking refuge in the sangha means taking refuge in the brotherhood and sisterhood of people who are committed to taking off their armor.
