Nightcrawling

by Leila Mottley

Mama used to tell me that blood is everything, but I think we’re all out here unlearning that sentiment, scraping our knees and asking strangers to patch us back up.

That was before I learned that life won’t give you reasons for none of it, that sometimes fathers disappear and little girls don’t make it to another birthday and mothers forget to be mothers.

Sometimes you can hear things, feel things, that will never manifest in sight.

it’s such a relief to be alone, the way my arms feel free and this patio doesn’t feel so alien because the sky’s been my friend for as long as I can remember. Spread out big. I think whatever is upward is only comforting when it is dark enough to imagine that there is a beyond.

“Silence starves us, chile. Feed yoself.”