Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship

by Sherry Argov

Why does a man run from a situation like this one? He runs because the woman’s behavior doesn’t suggest that she places a high value on herself. The relationship is new, and the bond between them is relatively shallow. Yet she’s already dealt him her best card.

It’s about whether you are capable of holding your own in a relationship.

What would happen if you let him know from day one that you are willing to bend over backward? He’d think you’re desperate, and he’d want to see just how far you’d be willing to bend. It is human nature. He’d immediately start to test the waters. The more malleable you’d become, the more he’d expect you to bend. He’ll instantly perceive you as a Duracell battery, as in, “Just how far will she go? How much can I get out of her?”

Overcompensating or being too eager to please will lessen a man’s respect; it will give the kiss of death to his attraction, and it will...

In general, the mental challenge has to do with whether you expect to be respected. It has to do with how you relate to him. It has to do with whether he knows that you aren’t afraid to be without him.

how afraid she is to be without him and he soon comes to feel as though he has a 100 percent hold on her. This is often the point when women begin to complain: “He doesn’t make enough time for me. He isn’t as romantic as he used to be.”

When you react emotionally, it gives him a feeling of control. And if you react emotionally frequently, over time he will come to see you as less of a mental challenge. If he can’t predict how you’ll always react, you remain a challenge.

Much of holding your own in a relationship begins with how you hold yourself. Overcompensating is overcompensating, and it includes everything from calling a man too much to cooking a four-course meal to dressing too provocatively. Remember the saying: The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long.

When you lose your edge, the relationship loses its fire. Think of him as the match. You are the striking board on the back of the match cover. When the rough edge or sand wears off and starts to become dull, it is much harder to get that spark. For example, the man may say, “Maybe I need a little time to think things over.” The woman who is too nice responds, “Please don’t leave me.” Not the bitch. She offers to help him pack. Why (choose A, B, or C)? A. She is helpful. B. He can’t pack. C. She loves herself.

Hint: The correct answer is C. Because she loves herself, the bitch doesn’t want anyone who doesn’t want her. She doesn’t grab his ankles and beg for mercy. She keeps that edge. And, in doing so, she prevents him from wanting to go.

Ever notice that when you are on the phone ignoring the man you are with, suddenly he’ll kiss your neck and try to get your attention? Ignore him and he is intrigued. Make him the center of attention all the time and he runs.

The biggest variable between a bitch and a woman who is too nice is fear. The bitch shows that she’s not afraid to be without him.

To give a man too much reassurance too soon is the same as overwatering a plant. It kills it.

A bitch is nice. She’s sweet as a Georgia peach. She smiles and she is feminine. She just doesn’t make decisions based on the fear of losing a man.

A bitch is a bitch with her actions, because she isn’t willing to give herself up.

The person who is least dependent on the outcome of the relationship will automatically draw the other person in.

Condition #2. Don’t see him when you are “running on empty.” The message? He does not come before basic necessities (i.e., rest). He says he’d like to see you at 9:00 p.m., and you don’t want to be out too late? Tell him, “I’d prefer to get together earlier.” If he can’t because he is working late, make no issue of it. Simply suggest getting together another night.

So begin your dating relationship with a voice.