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The more upset we are by a mistake, the more we think about it and will be able to avoid it the next time.
HSPs must spend far more time trying to invent solutions to human problems just because they are more sensitive to hunger, cold, insecurity, exhaustion, and illness.
Sometimes people with our trait are said to be less happy or less capable of happiness. Of course, we can seem unhappy and moody, at least to non-HSPs, because we spend so much time thinking about things like the meaning of life and death and how complicated everything is—not black-and-white thoughts at all.
We are forced to make choices and set priorities, but being very conscientious, HSPs often put themselves last.
You need to learn all about this sensitivity. It will be an obstacle or an excuse only if you allow it to be.
since any music increases stimulation, use it only when it seems to soothe you. Its purpose is to distract you.
Many HSPs tell me that a major problem for them is poor boundaries—getting involved in situations that are not really their business or their problem, letting too many people distress them, saying more than they wanted, getting mired in other people’s messes, becoming too intimate too fast or with the wrong people.
Introverts just go for quality, not quantity.
The highly introverted women were serious and focused. They talked more about problems and were more cautious. They tended to listen, to interview, to give advice; they seemed to be concentrating on the other in a deep way.
Another problem for HSPs who are very intuitive and/or introverted is that we may not be well informed about the facts. We let our hunches guide us. We don’t like to ask. But gathering concrete information from real people is part of the individuation process for introverted or intuitive people especially.
The difficulty, I believe, is that normally we artists work alone, refining our craft and our subtle creative vision. But withdrawal of any kind increases sensitivity—that is part of why one withdraws. So we are extrasensitive when the time comes to show our work, perform it, explain it, sell it, read reviews of it, and accept rejection or acclaim.
HSPs are prone to low self-esteem because they are not their culture’s ideal. So sometimes they consider themselves lucky if someone wants them at all.
I find that people whose real difficulties begin with their trait (perhaps misunderstood or mismanaged) are greatly relieved and improved when they learn the basic facts about sensitivity. There still may be significant work to do in therapy, such as reframing experiences and learning how to live with their trait, but the focus naturally shifts.
—You felt a strong sense of guilt over something you felt you were at fault for and could not discuss with anyone. —You wanted to die.
Depression seems to be caused by certain neurotransmitters being too unavailable.
What happens to our sense of self if the self can be changed so easily?
That pain is a privileged state. That art is always the product of a tortured, suffering mind. That only the miserable have deep thoughts. That anxiety is necessary for an authentic existence.
“Tell me, Master, what is the best move in the world?” There simply is no such thing as the best or even a good move apart from a particular situation in a game. . . . One should not search for an abstract meaning of life.
