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April 2, 2024
Further, we are so responsive to our environments that we can be somewhat like chameleons when around others, doing whatever it takes to fit in.
D is for depth of processing. Our fundamental characteristic is that we observe and reflect before we act. We process everything more than others do, whether we are conscious of it or not. O is for being easily over-stimulated; if you are going to pay more attention to everything, you are bound to tire sooner. E is for giving emphasis to our emotional reactions and having strong empathy, which among other things motivates us to notice and learn. S is for being sensitive to all the subtleties around us.
HSPs with a troubled childhood are more at risk of becoming depressed, anxious, and shy than those with a similar childhood who are not highly sensitive. But HSPs with good-enough childhoods were no more at risk than others.
If you tend to be depressed or anxious, it may mean that you were more affected by a difficult childhood (troubles at home or at school) than other adults with similar childhood experiences. (Or that you are simply under too much stress, or something else is making you depressed or anxious.)
More important, and a special reason for hope—you may well gain more from help than others would. On the other hand, this research also means that if you had a reasonably good childhood, people who do not know you well may hardly notice your sensitivity. They will be too busy admiring its parts—your creativity, conscientiousness, kindness, and foresight. You have probably learned to take downtime when you need it, which is more often than others do, and avoid overstimulating environments, but only people close to you see this side of you.
It seems that differential susceptibility might be about learning better from our prior experiences, as suggested by computer simulations about how the trait evolved (more on that later), not simply about needing to have a good childhood in order to succeed.
What does all of this mean for you? This trait is an intrinsic part of you, and even if you or others wished you were less sensitive, you cannot eliminate it. You can improve very much how you live with it, however, and take better advantage of it by knowing its nature. Indeed, I hope by now you are seeing it is a true advantage.
Further, when a past experience was very bad, an HSP can overgeneralize and avoid or feel anxious in too many situations, just because the new ones resemble in some small way the past bad one. The biggest cost to us of being highly sensitive, however, is that our nervous systems can only take in so much. Everyone has a limit as to how much information or stimulation can be absorbed before one becomes overloaded, overstimulated, over-aroused, overwhelmed, and just over! We simply reach that point sooner than others. Fortunately, as soon as we get some down-time we recover nicely.
Moreover, it is an invisible difference, and it affects you in many ways when you are interacting with others who are not very sensitive at all. Don’t forget those advantages: You notice things they do not!
D Is for Depth of Processing At the foundation of the trait of high sensitivity, as I just explained, is the tendency to process information more deeply.
Research by Jadzia Jagiel -lowicz and her colleagues found that the highly sensitive use more of those parts of the brain associated with “deeper” processing of information, especially on tasks that involve noticing subtleties.
HSPs are easily stressed by overstimulation (including social stimulation), or having learned their lesson, that they avoid intense situations more than others do.
Just as we say a piece of metal shows stress when it is overloaded, so do we.
Being easily overstimulated is the only negative part of DOES, and it is easily solved by getting more downtime than others so that you can process all that you have taken in and avoiding as much as you can situations that involve high levels of stimulation.
This is why tests are given—to motivate learners to have that thrill of a good score or distress of a poor one, and we have found that HSPs are far more affected by test scores. This is one reason why it is easier to learn a foreign language in the country where it is spoken—we are highly motivated to find our way, converse when spoken to, and generally not seem foolish.
Perhaps everyone reacts strongly to negative situations, but maybe HSPs have evolved so that we especially relish a good outcome and figure out more than others how to make it happen. I imagine that we can plan an especially good birthday celebration, anticipating the happiness it will bring. Think a moment about the ways your relatively stronger emotions help you. I know one way: Reacting before others do in a way appropriate to a situation, such as tears at a memorial service, makes you an “emotional leader.”
Our awareness of subtleties is useful in an infinite number of ways, from simple pleasure in life to strategizing a response based on our awareness of others’ nonverbal cues (that they may have no idea they are giving off) about their mood or trustworthiness. Of course, when we are worn out we may be the least aware of anything, subtle or gross, except our own need for a break.
You may be interested to know that a study has finally demonstrated that we are more creative, by at least some measures, than those without our trait. There is also evidence that creativity (like depth of processing) is driven by emotions, strong and subtle, and negative emotions as well as positive. In addition, there is a strong relationship between being an HSP and feelings of awe, a very intense emotion that can add to the pleasure and meaning in life, but can also be overwhelming. This brings us to emotional regulation—having the right emotion at the right time and in the right amount.
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We have some important skills, such as knowing what we feel, but need to improve on others. As with the mindfulness trait, at the top of the list was acceptance of your feelings. Other traits on the list included not feeling ashamed of them; believing you can cope with them as well as others do; trusting that your feelings will not, as we sometimes can feel, last forever; and assuming there’s hope.
Also interesting was that in general, people are happier when they have more meaningful conversations. So go ahead and push for what you want. What’s good for HSPs is often what’s good for everyone.
When overaroused, however, a frequent state for HSPs, we are anything but understanding or sensitive. Instead, we are overwhelmed, frazzled, and need to be alone. By contrast, your non-HSP friends are actually more understanding of others in highly chaotic situations.
