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“Fuck.” He darted up. “Sailor, wait!” Fuck indeed.
The only thing I had left was my pride. He was not getting it. My heart, maybe, but not my pride.
The Boston Belles.”
“I called you Sailor because I wanted you to see the world, to visit continents, to cross oceans and seas. In ancient times, sailors used to tattoo sparrows on their skin before leaving the docks. It brought them luck, you see. And since my name is Sparrow, I want to bring you luck. I want you to carry me everywhere in spirit. I’ll be there for you always. Only I think I failed, my brave girl. I think I failed you miserably. I hope he succeeds. I hope he knows you are so much more than beautiful. You are real.”
If you want it, it is yours. To keep. To use. To burn. With this, you’ll never fall. —Hunt
Forget the knight in shining armor. I’m the dipshit in tin foil.
Song of the day: “Creep” by Radiohead.
God, I missed her.
“Gross. I don’t need your earwax in my system.” “I put worse things in you, and you didn’t seem all that disgusted.” I bared my teeth tauntingly.
“It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. Another month together wouldn’t have done us any good. Not me, anyway. I am already in l—” She stopped herself, breathing hard, realizing what she was about to say. “You’re what?” I pressed. “What did you want to say?” “Never mind.
If she didn’t want to be with me, I couldn’t force her. And that realization hit me like a ten-ton brick.
It occurred to me, as I stepped into my father’s office for the first time in four days, that I was about to get my ass fucked so hard, I’d be able to easily slide an entire watermelon into it by the time he was done with me.
And that thing with Sailor…” I paused, feeling my nostrils flare. “It wasn’t just fucking.”
I didn’t have feelings for Carrot Top, did I? Only she hadn’t been Carrot Top for a long-ass time. She was the girl I wanted to talk to every day, all day, if I could. The girl who made me laugh. The girl who gave me a hard-on, not only up close, but just thinking about her. The traces of her scent alone made me want to hump the shower tiles.
I hated that I cared about Sailor Brennan, that I couldn’t stop thinking about her, worrying about her, obsessing over what she was doing, thinking, DoorDashing. The little huntress had gone and conquered every inch of my brain, filling it with herself, and without my notice—without my fucking permission—slipped from my brain to my heart.
Song of the day: “Dead Bodies Everywhere” by Korn.
“If you’re asking me to choose between my family fortune and a girl, my answer is obvious—the fortune.” I paused, watching his throat working behind his silky orange tie. “But if you’re asking me to choose between the family fortune and Sailor Brennan, I’m going to have to kiss your money goodbye and bow out of this one, Fitzpatrick or not.”
I couldn’t resist the chance to pursue her. I couldn’t forfeit the right to hug her, order DoorDash food with her, argue about who was a better tipper, and tell her about my day. Because those were the happiest moments of my life, and every single goddamn time I reached for my Dala horse and my neck was bare, I knew she had it—my one possession that meant something.
“Because I’m your father.”
“Damn.” I pushed him away. “Get the fuck out. I’m not your son. I may be dumb and pretty, but for fuck’s sake, I am pretty. You look like Gargamel.”
Then I remembered pussy didn’t matter anymore, unless it was attached to a certain redheaded banshee.
I couldn’t believe I’d thought her to be anything less than gorgeous a few months ago. I was addicted to every curve of her face now.
Screw polo. I was obviously a wasted baseball hero.
“You’ve passed the test, son.” I had visions just then: visions of myself bashing my father’s head against the wall behind him. Visions of wrestling Cillian to the floor and punching the smugness out of his fair features.
“Fuck your test!” I seethed, pointing at him. “Fuck it in the ass with a twelve-inch dildo. I almost killed myself trying to save you. I bent over backwards for you. I went to war for you. I was willing to burn, to die, to perish. For. You.”
“Needless to say, the will shall be altered accordingly. You are my heir. My child. A Fitzpatrick. You will keep your job at Royal Pipelines. And you will get a corner office, the one next to Cillian’s. You proved yourself a true member of the family, Hunter.” He opened his arms, expecting me to…what? Jump right in?
“Fuck you, your money, and your last name, old sport. If I have to earn being your family, I never will be.”
“What I need is someone on my fucking side.” “I am on your side,” I growled. “You’d be in my bed, if you were,” he had the audacity to say, no trace of guilt or remorse in his words. “Yet you aren’t.” “That’s because I’m on my side, too.” “Meaning?” He scoffed. “Meaning I don’t want to be any more attached to you than I already am, because you obviously don’t feel the same.” “And if I do?” he asked after a charged pause.
“You don’t. You’re incapable of that. You come from a long line of adulterers. How would you know any different?”
“Cat’s out of the bag now. So if I’m a serial adulterer like my parents, does that mean you’re going to be carving people’s faces like a pumpkin like your daddy? Are we playing the gene game now? ’Cause rest assured, darling, we may not be the same brand of fuck-up, but we are both far from the realms of normalcy.”
“What would it take for you to know I’m serious about this? About us? A grand gesture? A binding contract? A fucking ring?” “Maybe stop being ashamed of me. Of us,” I bit back. “That could have been enough.”
Hunter had disappeared, and with him, my favorite summer.
But he is not some silly heir. He is hardworking and honest and generous and caring. He would put himself at risk for those he cares about.”
“I’m in love with Sailor Brennan. Shit. Okay, that’s no good.”
“End me now, Vanessa. For I’m already toast. It is much, much more embarrassing than my other brush with fame. Then, I had my dick out. Now, I have my heart on the line. My friends are going to have a field day when they see this. I was the last one standing, you see. I thought I was immune from the L-word. I always made sure to put a condom on my emotions before talking to a chick, let alone doing anything more. So many women have left me over the years, I figured leaving them first was the best course of action. But you, Sailor, you’re the one I won’t let get away.”
“Serial killer much? Yeah, but it’s the truth. I’m not let...
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“And of course,” Hunter spread his arms, continuing his monologue, “in true Fitzpatrick fashion, I had to go and fall in love with the daughter of a…” He paused, backtracking when he realized what he was about to say. “A legitimate businessman, unless proven otherwise.”
“Fuck me, Sailor Brennan. You really did a number on my heart. I guess what I’m trying to say—while offending the ears of every middle-aged housewife in this state—is that this is real. It’s always been real. You said I never wanted you, but the truth was, I never wanted anyone but you. Not really. But I hadn’t realized it until you walked away, and for the first time in my life, I couldn’t eat, sleep, or breathe. I see you, aingeal dian, even when you’re trying to hide. Especially when you are trying to hide. I cannot unsee you. I’m like that kid from The Sixth Sense. Only you’re not dead,
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“Angry angel. Aingeal dian means angry angel. The first time I held you in my arms, at the fundraiser event, two things occurred to me. The first was that I couldn’t let go of you, even if you asked really, and I mean really nicely. The second was that I was unworthy of keeping you. I ran away from you my entire life without even knowing you, Sailor. But the moment I met you—okay, maybe a few weeks after that—I figured out not having you was not an option. So, here I am, asking for a second chance. And some ass. But the ass can definitely come later. I just want us to be us. Together.
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Anyway, that’s the bottom line. I’m stupid in love with you, Sailor Brennan. Will you have my dumb ass? Flaws included. No returns.”
“Fourteen business days to return said butt, and I get my full heart back if your performance is not to my satisfaction.”
“You never complained about the performance during your free trial period.” “Meh.” I shrugged. “It was free. Paying for something with hearts and other organs is a completely different matter.”
“Say yes,” he breathed into my mouth. “Say you’ll never leave.” “Never,” I murmured. “I love you so much, Hunter. It terrifies me how far I’ll go to save you.” “However far that is, know I’ll go even farther for you.”
“Six months ago, I was hell-bent on going to the Olympics, and you were determined not to work for your father. Now, both those things aren’t true. I have no idea where life will take me, but definitely not the Olympics. You became your own person, a talented businessman, a guy with a girlfriend. Whatever we did, Hunter, we did it together. No matter what happens today, know that we both came a long way. I’ve never been prouder to be on someone’s arm.”
She was a fucking vision, Sailor Brennan. I finally understood why Knight could never touch anyone else, even before he and Luna hooked up. No other girl in the world could stir in me what Sailor did when I looked at her. Adriana Lima in-fucking-cluded.
“Take the compliment, Hunter.” “Take your clothes off, prey.”
I’d never loved someone myself to know what love looked like. Not truly. Not until Sailor.
I thought to myself, this is the kind of kid who should be influencing Hunter—
She had feisty Irish blood running through her veins, and I wanted you, Hunter, to remember that you were made of the same stuff—sturdy, rough, and capable.
“I’ve never shunned you, ceann beag. You’re my son. Mine, and no one else’s. I call you little one because you were always precious to me. From the moment you were born, you were so lovely, people on the street mistook you for a girl. God touched you, blessed you with something special, and I couldn’t wait to see what you’d do with it.
