More Than Enough: Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say)

by Elaine Welteroth

When your dreams are bigger than the places you find yourself in, sometimes you need to seek out your own reminders that there is more. And there is always more waiting for you on the other side of fear.

I realized that they weren’t at all smarter than the rest of us. They were simply emboldened, floating on an ancient tide of superiority, buoyed by the fact that history had never told them anything different. MICHELLE OBAMA, BECOMING

M. Foss had advised me once to treat dating like gardening instead. Plant the most promising seeds. Water them all. Taste what each has to offer. And when you find one that produces fruit you could eat every single day, give a little more love to it and start pruning the rest.

What is not for you can never be for you. No amount of sheer will or work, no amount of bending or shape-shifting will make it so. No act or effort, no apology, no amount of therapy or prayer or repetition, no self-help, no distraction, no matter how hard you try, you can never force anything that isn’t meant to be.

Oprah says the hardest thing about breaking up is never just the end itself. It is the death of the dream. Whether it’s a promising romantic relationship, a cherished friendship, or a dream job, in the end, you can’t help but daydream about the if onlys and what-ifs. You mourn what could have been, until you are forced to confront what it is: over.

On the other side of fear is freedom—but you have to be willing to look it in the face.