More Than Enough: Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say)

by Elaine Welteroth

Shonda Rhimes coined the term: “First. Only. Different.”

By centering and positioning Whiteness as superior, Whiteness as the norm, and everything else as a deviation, a racial hierarchy is reinforced. The subsequent microaggressions are as small as the fair “flesh-colored” Band-Aids we were handed in school (which were clearly designed for White people).

ACCORDING TO THE SYLLABUS, rhetoric was defined as “artistically created persuasion that is aimed to shape hearts and minds on topics of social importance.”

“Discovering what you don’t want is just as important as finding out what you do.”

Growing up, girls are warned about the kind of abuse that leaves bruises and scars behind. But the cyclical mistreatment I was experiencing was invisible—it wasn’t what people wrote magazine articles about or went on morning shows to discuss. And so I kept covering up how awful I was feeling inside, assuming this was what people meant when they said relationships were hard.

Auntie Oprah says our only obligation is to listen for life’s whispers. And when you don’t listen to the whisper, it becomes a roar.

“Sometimes just being yourself is the radical act. When you occupy space in systems that weren’t built for you, your authenticity is your activism.”

ONE LESSON I LEARNED the hard way: Never give your number before you’re ready to. Do not allow anyone to force you into a negotiation that you haven’t had time to prepare for. You can simply say, “I’d love to take the night and come back to you on that first thing.” If I had someone coaching me, I would have been so much more prepared in that moment. But I wasn’t. I had no coach and no idea that this happens all the time—especially to women. Even more often to young women of color.

For me, it was a salary that gave me a sense of dignity in doing the work I was being asked to deliver—knowing that I would continue to overdeliver, as I had since I was hired. And so I went back the next day, with the strength of my entire community at my back, feeling taller walking in than I had the day before.

“There is no such thing as white feminism. If it’s white feminism, it doesn’t exist,” Gloria shared. “The world is divided between two kinds of people. The people who divide people and those who don’t. And those who don’t are growing in number.”

The truth is, job titles are temporary. But purpose is infinite.

And when the world tells you to shrink, expand.

Remember: You have done enough. You are enough. You were born enough.