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Life has but one true charm: the charm of the game. But what if we’re indifferent to whether we win or lose? Charles Baudelaire
More often, she wished to simply care for something or someone without scaring herself. Just the idea seemed an illusion.
She wanted to listen to her father, who would speak less but made it count. She felt that he knew so much more to say of what she wanted to hear.
This was her opportunity to break a vicious cycle and return to her internal affairs without sticking out for everyone to see. A smirk sketched itself across her furry face. It took her turning into a cat to think about being more human.
“I’ve had enough of Paris. It’s been too long since I left, and it’s no place for someone like me.”
Me with Augusta.
Yet, somehow, it is always in these pristine moments of total presence that life calls on the quiet one from the audience to get up on stage.
Julie never wanted to feel grand. If her shortened human existence had made one thing clear, this had to be it. To be, but be merely common, had been her credo for a long time. She didn’t see herself achieving greatness that was worth any real struggle at all. Julie had seen enough people suffer to get there, affecting no real changes, no more or less happy than before.
Time is such a precious little thing in the end. And we do have so little of it! I was too desperate for it to move quicker, and now, all I wish for is for it to come back! I need to live in this time that we have in our hands.
“Disce dies numerare tuos, my dear.” Maman pointed a finger in the air. “Learn to value your days.”
“To your heart being wrong sometimes and right all other times. As long as you live.”
“We get to make a lot of choices. When it comes to a fork in the road, we make our decision based on the condition we’re thrown into.”
“All I want is my defining moment.”
“My life is full of these tiny, unimportant challenges. I know that I can achieve something great if I was ever put to the test, but it feels like I’m being left out. It just…I feel that I am constantly preoccupied with the thought of being inadequate. At the same time, I can’t be by myself. I know that I need to be, but I am scared to be. The moment I come close to feeling like I am getting there, I latch on to whatever is closest, no matter if it hurts me or not. Maybe I’m simply undeserving. At the same time I am afraid to be normal and not do anything about it. I want my moment, but I fear
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I think I need space. Space to make my own mistakes. I want to trace the ice twice or three times without someone else counting. Maybe I need it to break. Maybe I want it to break. I want to know that I can save myself.
As a 25-year-old, I FELT this.
“You should not let yourself be swept away by a search for glory. Are you even sure if you are ready for it? You should let your instinct guide you. Your great battle will come, don’t worry. You won’t need to look for it,”
We focus so much on trying to forge our own destiny and carve out a path and purpose for ourselves… I think we can go through life so much more smoothly if we let our experiences and instincts guide us, and no matter what choices we make, we’ll always end up exactly where we’re meant to be.
Her sister had been the first person to ask her how she felt that day.
it seems like a marvelous opportunity, seeing the world from a completely new perspective,”
Expanding your worldview will open so many doors!
“In the end, I wouldn’t say that I gave up. I just accepted this new life and stopped questioning it. I stopped feeling sorry for myself.
A lot of growing up and maturing takes self-reflection.
“Why does everything always have to have meaning? Why does everyone worry so much about what I do? I live a mediocre life and don’t complain. Up until this morning, I didn’t think I could care any less about all of this, but here we are!”
This right here. Humans think TOO DAMN MUCH. 😂
Once the weight was taken by the tears, it became simple. It took a trivial series of processions to understand. There was no fanfare or grand battle like Anya wanted it. It wasn’t a fight with a big adversary or teachings by a wise mentor as Julie had imagined it. It wasn’t even her transformation into a cat. It was what she saw when the day came to an end.
“non, je regrette rien.”
