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Kyou sighed gustily. “But you didn’t know.” “I know now,” Ivan maintained stubbornly. “I steal from those who can afford the loss. I do not victimize the poor.”
“Uncle Luca has strange rules,” she informed them. “Like, he doesn’t want me to use the lockpicks on his door. Even when he lost his keys. And he won’t let me hack anything, even though I told him I just wanted to see how things were going.”
Aiden had a Russian thief in his apartment, a thief who felt remorseful about stealing from him, and was going to buy him furniture to make up for it. And just when Aiden thought his life couldn’t take any more plot twists.
“Okay,” Aiden agreed, as he seemed to be waiting for a response. Was this something like playing a Sim game? You had to keep pressing A to get through the conversation with the NPC?
A thief wanted to buy him furniture and restore his stolen inheritance to him. Should he look a gift horse in the mouth…? Wait, this was a dream. So, he could agree, and it would be fine to hand all of his troubles over to some thief with a heart of gold.
Aiden watched with bemusement. “Uh, Ivan? Isn’t this a bit much?” Tsking him with a finger, Ivan said, “Accept the good in your life. Like me. I’m a fucking delight.”
“You’re crazy.”
With a sweet smile, Ivan put a bag of potatoes into the cart. “I will see your crazy and raise you demented.”
“So you’re owning the craziness, huh?” “Of course. Best way to be insane. Enjoy it.
Quite Ivan’s type, really. He adored men with a little padding. More cuddly that way.
head. Ivan thought about reassuring him that not many could hack into the bank, but…well…he wasn’t sure how viable that reassurance would sound considering a nine-year-old had just done so.
“Ivan, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m adding up everything you’ve spent on me in the past twenty-four hours, and I have to ask…what do you make at your, ah, job?” “Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.”
Mouth. Mouth, what the hell? Ivan never spoke of his family. Never even referenced them. Brain was in agreement that speaking of family was firmly in the No Go category. So why was mouth starting a revolution?
And yes, Ivan had been low-grade flirting since the minute he’d met him, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. So, this whole ‘let me touch him’ thing was absolutely a no-go. Understand, libido? Libido did not agree. Libido informed him that Ivan checked all his boxes and suggested he make a damn move already, please and thank you.
Ivan greeted him with a smile. “Good morning, milij. You’re awake?” Aiden stared at him, hard. There were words in the air. Several of them. They might mean something? “Not awake. Right.”
Aiden really didn’t know what to do with a little girl hacker. He really, truly, didn’t. It sort of made sense that she would learn the biz because of her fathers, but it still threw him for a few mental loops. He’d treated her like a pro because a) that seemed the right thing to do, and b) because if she could hack a bank? He so didn’t want to piss this kid off.
“Come on, K,” Ivan was wheedling as Aiden sat in the outside quad, eating his lunch. “You know you want to come join us.” “I performed a social activity yesterday. Please wait the requisite three days before submitting another request,” K deadpanned back, dry as a martini.
“Eidolon, you do NOT tell the mark that they’re too easy of a target because you’re bored. Stop stirring up shit.” “I’m curious. When stirring up shit, do you stir in clockwise or counter-clockwise motion?”
“Uhhh…that logic literally hurt my brain. K, bail me out. What did I miss?” “That was, sadly, a pretty accurate summary.”
“TMI. Okay? Way TMI, please stop talking.” Ivan cackled some more. Ah, good times.
“Uh…I’m asking because I have this feeling I won’t like the answer. Is that like a today thing or tomorrow thing?” “Is fine. I have gloves and my bedsheet.” A meaty thunk suggested that someone had just beat their head against the desk. Likely Kyou.
“They’ll be happy to tell you what they have.” “And the reason why you didn’t tell K any of this is…?” Ari asked as if he already knew the answer. “He makes fun noises.” “I hate you.”
“But isn’t it bad for her to see you?” “I’m average-looking white guy,” Ivan whispered back. “Not memorable.” Aiden snorted disbelievingly. “Excuse you, you are very memorable.” “Aww, you say sweet things.”
“Guys, dying request,” K said in a pained voice. “Please take the buds out? It’s bad enough I sometimes overhear Ari and Carter, I don’t need you guys too.” Snickering, Ivan pulled back. “Sorry. We’re going dark.” “Please and thank you.”
Ivan shot him a disapproving look. “You don’t bury people in shallow graves. Those get found. Bury him deep.”
but while her looks were innocent, they didn’t match her personality. She was in jean shorts and a red shirt that read: Underestimate me. That’ll be fun. Aiden considered the shirt to be a warning. He’d heed to it.
“Don’t sneak up behind Daddy, okay? When he gets spooked, he punches things.” Sneaking up on an assassin did, in fact, sound like a terrible life decision.
“Ivan, are all of your friends good looking?” “Da. Sent ugly ones back.”
“At least I’m a fun hot mess. Like a train wreck full of pizza, fireworks, and glitter.”
“Then will you watch Togo with me?” “I’m not sure I know what that is.” “It’s a dog movie. It’s the bestest dog movie ever.” “It’s not a sad dog movie, right?” “Nope. That’s why it’s the bestest one ever.”
“D-did I die and go to heaven?” Ivan laughed outright. “In what heaven am I the angel?”
I feel bad about hurting it because it belongs to bad man. I think I rescue it instead. Come, pretty car, you can be mine, da?”
“Focus, Ivan,” Kyou growled. “Joy suckers. All of you. No, no stamp here. I will come back and take over for a while.”
“First of all,” Carter argued in that mild manner of his, “you are now at the point that you view errands as ‘going out.’” “It is going out! I don’t understand you people. You do things all throughout the week, and then you hit the weekend and you want to do even more things. What’s wrong with you?”
“So, if you know this, does that mean you went outside today?” Ari asked hopefully. “It was chilly. There were people. I give it zero stars, do not recommend.”
“Remi,” Aiden asked in amusement, “what are you doing?” “Combat ballet,” she grunted, punching something again.
“You know why everything tastes like chicken, right? It’s because all animals have dinosaurs as ancestors. Technically, they all taste like dinosaur.” Remi giggled. “So, I’m eating dinosaur tonight? Rawr!”
“Carter. You’re normal person, mostly.” “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Have you finally grown up to responsible adulthood?” Shuddering, Ivan made a face at him. “That’s mean.”
“And where are you going?” Ivan twisted out of the hold with a wink. “Commit a felony. Or maybe get vodka. I decide in car.”
“You go. I’m doing romantic gesture for Aiden.” “Really? Assassinations are romantic gestures? Damn, wish I’d known that earlier.”
“As the normal one of the bunch, I need to tell you that Aiden will not appreciate having his family assassinated because they irritated you.” “But they’re dangerous and irritating,” Ivan pointed out hopefully. “Not enough to get killed for it. Go for vodka, Ivan, I promise you that will go over better with your boy.” He and Ari shared a forlorn glance. “He take all joy from life.”
“Thank you.” “Now I’m really not in trouble,” Ivan said smugly, snuggling farther into Aiden’s arms. “It’s a good thing you’re cute,” Aiden sighed, giving up. “As you’re certainly a lot of trouble.” Ivan snickered sleepily and didn’t deny it.
I think what you’ve failed to realize during all of your panicking is that you are a mature, responsible man.” “Why do you insult me?” Ivan whined at him.
“Honestly, I think of you kind of like Robin Hood. You’re very much chaotic neutral.” Ivan threw his head back in a laugh that wobbled a little. “Robin Hood?! But I’m not noble!” “Excuse you. You broke into my apartment, bought me groceries and furniture, and then try to say you don’t have a good heart? Try the other one, Azarov, it has bells on.”
threw
Through
