Kindle Notes & Highlights
As long as I kept moving, my grief streamed out behind me like a swimmer’s long hair in water. I knew the weight was there, but it didn’t touch me. Only when I stopped did the slick, dark stuff of it come floating around my face, catching my arms and throat ‘til I began to drown. So, I just didn’t stop. Barbara Kingsolver
She had abandoned me during my attack. I’d begged for her intervention numerous times as Charles Burke had raped me, and She’d done nothing. As I battled the ghosts that still haunted my dreams and caused me to cringe when my friends were near, She could have sent me strength or healed me, but instead She offered no assistance, as if I was a forgotten toy tossed away in the corner.
That is why I chose to have this meeting with Sophia Richards today. I needed the good doctor to hear a few truths from my lips and, if necessary, be taught a lesson. I would not be undervalued or ignored.
He had shared that during my absence, his old lover had made herself available to him. This was known to several pack members. Sophia had not been shy in her pursuit.
At my urging, Black had invited her onto Novus land to help treat my mental illness. She had taken our offer of hospitality too far in my absence. That would be addressed directly.
“Are you familiar with the concept of ‘girl code’?” She drew her eyebrows together, then tilted her head to the left. “Do you mean the commonly held rules that women follow to show respect to others of their sex?” I nodded. “Thank you, I wasn’t sure if it translated into Lycan life.”
“The thing is…I trust him.” Not all of the guards, but Asher, most definitely. If he’d worked against Black or me, Issa would’ve murdered him.
“You have enjoyed your time here, and yet, you decided to take advantage of our hospitality and trust. While I was fighting for my life, you decided to make a play for Black. You want what I have.”
“Sophia, I take no pleasure in doing damage to you, but surely you understand. I was wronged, and now, you must pay. It is our way.”
I was almost embarrassed for the female. I’d genuinely expected her to stand tall and sneer at me. This behavior was a sign of weakness.
“We each have little say in our destinies. If you had respected Black and me, we would have helped you, but instead, you chose to try to take him from me. The loss of a hand for a thief is a timeless punishment. Consider yourself warned, Sophia. No more games.”
“Dr. Joseph explained there are stages of healing,” I murmured. “Dealing with what she’s been through, I would say that, currently, we are in anger.” “I’m glad I made up with her before she entered this phase.” My oldest friend made a toasting motion with his bottle.
I didn’t share that anytime her bloodthirsty side made an appearance, it got me hard. “I want her to be comfortable here amongst us. If wounding a few who have wronged her will help…then I will round them up myself.”
The human we had first encountered on that deserted airstrip was now gone. The woman that I’d brought back from Ohio was still loving, but now, she had an edge. She wasn’t afraid to ask, or even demand, what she wanted.
“I have three priorities. To avenge Theo’s injuries, to be officially mated, and to plan our future together.”
The effects of her PTSD were not always easy to anticipate, so I worked extremely hard to always have an alternate plan. This was our new normal. If my mate could accept our Lycan way of life, then I could do no less than work within her limitations.
The hardest part of loving Theo was putting her needs before my fears. I was learning to lighten my hold on the reins and give her the freedom to try and possibly fail, but there were times that it took a great amount of effort.
“Are you sure that it wasn’t the sex?” Theo teased. Issa snorted. “The others did not lie. He is very good at the sex.”
Whatever she wanted; I would give her. It was that simple.
“I think that, since I’ve been through so much and I’m so aware of any little hint of a doubt that, sometimes, I obsess over my fear that one day…you will tire of my needs. That you might fall out of love with me.”
“Today, I needed to show her, and them, that I’m not weak.” “Anyone who knows you can see your strength.” “And yet, they will test me, time and time again.” I felt the anger and frustration heat my blood. “How will you answer them?” he asked slowly.
“I’d have you kill them all, my Theo,” he said against my neck. “What?” My voice squeaked due to my surprise. His hands slid up my back and rested against my neck, cradling my head. “My beautiful, bloodthirsty mate, you will rule by my side, strong and decisive. You will do whatever it takes.” “To protect you, those I love,” I whispered, a little breathless. “My Queen.”
“Do you have any idea how it makes me feel when you give yourself to me?” I couldn’t speak, so I shook my head. “I am the most powerful male in the world.”
“Ours,” they ground out. I’m not sure if I actually heard the proclamation from Black’s mouth or through our connection. “Safe.” I released his flesh and soothed the marks with my tongue. “I know.” “With us.” I knew this and trusted them. “Always,” I promised.
“Thank you.” “For?” His eyes were the color of a dark winter’s day right before a snowstorm began. “For pushing me and trusting me to be okay.”
“He’s very good to me. I mean, Lore is, but there has never been anything going on between us. He is my advisor and guard.” The dark blonde stammered, “I-it is good to have a support system in place.” “Lore is my friend; I think of him as a brother. I care about him, but that is all.”
“I am his mate; I sit at his left. You will not belittle me.” She nodded at Onyx and then looked at each member sitting at the table. “I will die for him, and for you because you are Novus. That is my promise. Our Mating Ceremony will leave no doubt, so do not question me again.”
I wanted to laugh in joyous relief at her performance. My mate was impressive. “It is a new day, gentlemen,” Glass said, her expression impassive.
“Did Lore come up with the idea, or did you?” “It was mine, but I did ask him for advice.” She worried her bottom lip then added, “He’s so good at making people believe things.” “I’m not upset, Theo. You should learn from Lore. He’s the most dangerous of our kind.”
“If you want to ignore him—fine. Spit on him—good. Kill him—better. But it is up to you. I don’t want you to feel pressure from anybody.”
After silently asking permission, I’d received pats on the shoulder, and Glass had embraced me while whispering in my ear, “Take back what he stole; take it for all of us.”
“You are being disrespectful.” “They should know their place,” he bit out. “Which is?” Issa asked while playing with a lavender braid. To a stranger, it might have sounded innocent, but I knew she was figuring out the most efficient way to behead Onyx.
“I am the Seer to the Novus Pack, a gift from The Lady. I am to be mated to the Laird; however, I was violated by Charles Burke, and I will carry some of those scars forever. I don’t give a rat’s ass if you think what I’m doing is right or wrong. Until you can amass a resume like mine,” I gave him my own version of a smirk, “then we don’t need to hear your snorts or see your derisive expressions.”
“I made a rash decision for selfish reasons.” “For your survival,” he corrected me. “And my downfall,” I reminded him. “It is in the past.” Issa raised her voice, which was rare. “I have learned that we can miss many good things by being chained to the past. Events happened, and we survived. That should be our focus…today and the future.”
Lore looked away, and then his gaze met mine. “I know that, if I need anything, you will move mountains to help.”
“You know what must be done. You have a clear understanding of your duties to Novus, Theodora. As Seer, and as our Queen.” “What if…?” He cut me off. “You can. Trust in yourself.”
“Theodora, you are a gift to our people. Call to The Lady. Demand her assistance. Look into your soul and remember what Charles Burke took from you. The time, the doubts, and the distance. What his actions could have taken from us, your pack and from our leader, your mate. Use that to make your decision, to fuel your fire.”
Do you trust me, Seer?” “Yes.” I gave no hesitation in answering. His hand tightened over mine. “Then trust in my belief in you.”
“I will shred whatever is left of his carcass. Then I will spit on it.” His eyes flashed, and for a tiny second, I was afraid because I could feel his fury. “Lore,” I started, “why would you want to see him?” I knew that Tex and Black wanted to kill the male, but why Lore? “He hurt you.” Lore’s tone was fierce and his voice low. My heart began to pound as some primal instinct wanted me to run away. “He dared to touch a Marked. He beat you so badly you almost died. My…my only friend, and for that, he must pay and continue to do so for eternity.”
“It’s not like when I had the dreams,” she assured me. “It’s more like I can smell his stench, sense his disease.”
“Why can’t you give me one of your ‘I’m the ruler of all that moves’ orders, so I’ll know what I’m supposed to do?” The accompanying chuckle sounded a little hysterical. “Theodora, if I had my way, you would never see Charles Burke, you wouldn’t even know he was near…but I believe in you. I know you are strong, and because of that, I am giving you the choice.”
She didn’t speak,” was all that she shared. “Do you have your answer, Theodora?” “I’m ready to see Charles Burke.” “Then, it shall begin.”
“Dr. Joseph reminded me, again, that I would never be able to understand what she went through,” I shared with the male who had watched over Theo as she’d recovered. “We are strong. It would take someone rare to do real harm to us, and because we know that we do not live in fear.”
“You believe she lives in fear?” I was curious about his explanation. He understood my mate very well and had her trust. “She will always do so.” I wanted to argue, but he continued. “That is not a bad thing, Laird. She will provide a different viewpoint, a voice for the under-represented.”
Blood began to drip from her mouth as her jaw worked back and forth, sawing deeper into the male’s appendage. Laughter erupted from Lore. He was holding his middle and smiling at the screen. He then turned to me. “That was…unexpected, but I like it very much.”
Charles Burke.” Her voice was not her own. It was deeper and echoed off the walls. “You dared touch one who carries the Mark of The Lady?”
“Wolf, you are an abomination. You have broken one of our oldest laws. For that, you must pay.” Her eyes were so dark I could no longer see any blue. “I will strip you of everything, as you tried to do to me.”
“Do not call to your wolf, for he is dead.”
“Free him.” Glass slowly took a step forward. She looked at Burke, whose head hung down, and then back at Theo. “Are you certain, my Queen?” Theo’s chest rose and fell a few times. “Trust in me, warrior.” She held Glass’s gaze for a beat, and then my Captain did as ordered.
“It is a great, perhaps the greatest honor, Seer,” Lore spoke loudly so that she could hear him over the falling water. “The Lady joined you in your quest for vengeance.” “It was a thing of beauty, Theo.” Conal smiled at her. “It was.”
