The Constant Rabbit

by Jasper Fforde

There were estimated to be just under a million anthropomorphised rabbits in the country, and only a hundred thousand or so had the legal right to live outside the fence. The rest, by well-established statute, remained inside the colonies, their rights to travel strictly controlled by a series of permits.

‘Only six of the 5,672 rabbits currently incarcerated are in prison for violence,’ said Bobby. ‘Most are in for burrowing offences or theft of root vegetables, neither of which we consider a crime at all.’

Worry has a way of sitting on your chest like a baby elephant.

When mud gets thrown around, the further you are away, the less likely it will stick.

You think it might be doing no harm, but when you’ve lusted after bacon and eggs, my friend, you’ve already committed breakfast in your soul.’

He retired from politics but remains active as a talk-show pundit. The language of division can always be monetised.