Slippery Creatures (The Will Darling Adventures, #1)

by K.J. Charles

He had no idea what civilians, or civilised people, would say in these circumstances. Thanks for that, old chap, much obliged, perhaps? Ought he apologise for coming in his mouth? Would this be a good moment to restart the conversation about where Kim had learned to use a knife? Thank God they were British. He took a deep breath. “Cup of tea?”

we should discuss what happened earlier.” “Uh,” Will managed. “Right.” “Or if you want to pretend that incident never took place, we can.” He sounded impossibly matter of fact. Will attempted to echo that. “Of course. If you want to, I mean.” “Do you want to?” I’m not the one with a fiancée, Will thought, but didn’t say. It was surely Kim’s responsibility to take that into account. He knew a sudden, wicked urge to ask if Kim had learned to suck cocks from the Bolsheviks as well. He was having quite a lot of trouble reconciling that expert performance with the earlier shyness, or this dancing about. But that wasn’t fair. Kim was obviously torn in several directions, and making a fuss now would be an ungracious response to heroics that had saved Will a very nasty evening. “I...well, what do you want?” Kim exhaled hard. “We appear to be locked in competition as to who has less of a spine.”

Kim came over, walking with a lot of grace for a man in purple slippers, especially one sporting a solid cockstand.

“Do you like to fuck?” “Er, yes? Oh. You mean all the way?” “Absolutely all.” Will had to lick his lips. “Me doing you?” “Ideally with a better verb but yes. If you’d like. Is that appealing?” In theory, absolutely. Practice might be different. “Thing is I’ve only done that once and it wasn’t marvellous for anyone. You know. Flanders.” Kim paused. “Do you mean Flanders as in ‘it was wartime’, or is there a Belgian buggery problem I should know of?”

Kim rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. You know who you are, and you wear it well. I really don’t know why you listen to me.” “Nor do I, you corkscrew-tongued bastard. Jesus wept. You could open wine bottles with that.”

“You’re a bit of a mess, aren’t you?” “My friend, you have no idea.”

I trust the assessment of her callipygous pulchritude is correct and that you’ll be very happy.”

Ok, gotta break out the dictionary with this sentence!

Why the blazes you’re called Kim when your name is Arthur.” “My name, since you raise the topic, is Arthur Aloysius Kimberley de Brabazon Secretan. What would you do in my place?” “Leave the country,” Will said wholeheartedly.