It’s amazing to me now how similar we were in what we didn’t say, what made us feel ashamed, and how that shame, or fear of being shamed, was such an organizing principle of our performance of manhood. Boys grow into men, yes, but in some ways we always feel ourselves to be on that playground, always feel afraid someone is going to call us weak and not man enough. We craft our armor against it like medieval knights, but if you’ve ever tried on one of those chain mail suits of armor, you know that not only are they so heavy and confining you can barely walk, but they also end up cutting us off
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