Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity

by Justin Baldoni

As men we need to use our strength and bravery and other traditionally masculine traits to explore what’s in our hearts.

It’s one of the reasons I don’t use or like the term “toxic masculinity.” I don’t believe it’s constructive to use; it’s too politicized, and I don’t think masculinity as a whole is toxic. It’s sort of like “If I like the behavior, it’s ‘healthy’ masculinity, and if I don’t like it, it’s ‘toxic’ masculinity.” We cannot continue to lump all men into one group and label it “toxic.” In fact, many of us also recognize that we are suffering from the very same problems we helped create, and many times we find ourselves as both the perpetrators and the victims. We have just never had the tools to be able to see it or call it out.

Capitalism is an impossible system without women’s unpaid labor. While mothering doesn’t pay financially, it’s quite literally the job that keeps the world moving forward. It’s simultaneously the hardest and most thankless job on the planet yet one of the most important.

As men we are conditioned to believe that it is our job to stay in control, fix a problem, and protect our loved ones; and a birth is completely out of our control regardless of where it happens, but it feels even more out of control if it doesn’t happen in a hospital.