Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity

by Justin Baldoni

though we do learn the falsehood that men did all the exploring and inventing and building that created modern society.

I can only be brave if I deal with and confront my fear.

I need to do this

be afraid, be fearful, honor those feelings when they come up, but don’t dwell on them or let them consume you. Because it’s one thing to feel fear, and it’s another thing to let it win. And call it traditionally masculine, but I like to win.

proving again that tearing down my physical muscles in the name of growth was much easier than opening my heart in the name of growth.

The coveted inverted triangle, where the shoulders are broad and muscular, and then the torso tapers down to a slim waist. Big and toned arms. But don’t skip leg day. Men should be tall, or at the VERY least, taller than the woman they are with. If they aren’t tall, they better be able to pull a semi, or deadlift a small Japanese car. Or be rich. Having money wins over everything. Chiseled chest. Men shouldn’t have man boobs. Bigger is better when it comes to hands and feet because apparently that’s an indication of a bigger penis. And a bigger penis is the ultimate measure of a bigger man.

I’m now realizing that what I want more than anything else is a body that works, a body that moves without pain and that will last as long as possible. I want to be able to teach both of my kids how to throw a punch when they’re in high school,

healthy and functional body is more important to me than a ripped one, so adjusting my expectations means also adjusting my Google searches, my social media, and my self-talk and making sure that I am consciously countering both the external and internal messages that love to remind me of everything I am not. It starts with each of us, with changing the conversation we are having with ourselves and challenging our actions to follow suit.

wish they had just told me that I was enough no matter whether I succeeded or failed—that’s the message I needed and that could have served me as a child and especially now as an artist.

From a human standpoint, when I value people enough to know that I can learn something from everyone, it leads to valuing myself enough to know that I don’t need to have all the answers to be smart enough, that there is an easier road that leads to more fulfillment, connection, and friendship if I quiet my ego and listen.

Isn’t it odd how some of the choices we make in adolescence, the ones that are, at the time, unpopular and get us picked on or bullied, end up becoming some of the very things that make us interesting, unique, and attractive as adults?