Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity

by Justin Baldoni

I can remember speaking to a 12-year-old boy, a football player, and I asked him, I said, “How would you feel if, in front of all the players, your coach told you you were playing like a girl?” Now I expected him to say something like, I’d be sad; I’d be mad; I’d be angry, or something like that. No, the boy said to me . . . , “It would destroy me.” And I said to myself, “God, if it would destroy him to be called a girl, what are we then teaching him about girls?” —TONY PORTER

When G.I. Joe was first introduced in 1974, he stood five feet, ten inches. He had a thirty-one-inch waist, a forty-one-inch chest, and twelve-inch biceps.

Strong and muscular, yes, but still possible and not very far off from my own measurements. Flash forward to 2002, and G.I. Joe was still five feet ten, but his waist had shrunk to twenty-eight inches, his chest ballooned to fifty inches, and his biceps bulged to twenty-two inches, close to the size of his waist. If he were a real human, he would be unable to touch his own shoulder, let alone execute an impossible special ops mission and save the planet. Can you imagine how hilarious that South Park episode would be? G.I. Joe parachutes in to stop a bomb from detonating, but he can’t reach behind his back to get the tool from his belt because his biceps are too big!