The Big Questions of Life

by Om Swami

I’m often asked, shouldn’t we be passionate about our pursuits? Of course, you should be, that’s correct. But detachment is not resignation, but the understanding that to make objective decisions, I must, now and again, distance myself from my pursuit so I may gain a different and a better frame of reference.

The truth is, endless analysis of your past is mostly blabbering of the restless mind. For, chances are, you did what you thought was best at the time. And, that, in my view, is good enough. What matters infinitely more is focusing on your present and making it worthwhile, for the present of today will be the past of tomorrow.

One way to get past your past and your regrets is to give your life meaning. Once you discover the meaning, the purpose of your life, you no longer remain the old you. The new you is born in the same body. It becomes a whole lot easier to shed your old tendencies as your newfound meaning becomes your guiding and driving force.

Very important

If someone doesn’t want to be in your life, let that person go. There’s no wisdom in holding on to a partner, person, employer or a thing. Everything and everyone must ultimately perish.

The truth still remains that if we don’t know how to keep ourselves happy, no one else will ever be able to do that for us.

There’s only so much the other person can give you. Ultimately, your happiness depends on your selfless karma as well as on how you treat yourself. Doing something for the one you love is not always selfless. If rather than buying a watch for yourself, you buy a bracelet for your wife, it’s certainly thoughtful and caring, but not necessarily selfless, if you see what I mean. You have great emotional investment in such a relationship. Quintessential selflessness is when you do a karma with little or no expectation in return, maybe when you do it with no emotional or any other vested interest of your own. At any rate, my fulfilment in life is my personal responsibility.

Wonderful thoughts. This must be implemented in personal relationships.

We must have the courage and wisdom to walk the path of dharma with contentment and gratitude instead of constantly counting on others to fill our cup.

you always draw your energy and inspiration from whoever is the centre of your life. In love, you become the one you love. If it’s a materialistic person, you’ll find yourself becoming increasingly materialistic too. If he or she is a spiritual person, you’ll evolve into a calmer person. If he or she is the restless or narcissistic type, you’ll feel restless and anxious yourself. If the centre of your life is beauty, divinity, compassion, God and such like, you’ll become an embodiment of that. Choose carefully.

So true.

In this wisdom of a lifetime, nothing else perhaps could spell any clearer the three core virtues that define a person’s spiritual attitude. Patience, selflessness and determination.

Have you noticed how sometimes we give a gift to someone and want to know what exactly that person did with that gift? And we may even feel hurt if we find out that he or she didn’t use it, and passed it on to someone else. That means, we never actually parted with our gift to begin with. Where’s the act of giving in that?

This tells what selfles giving is

The more spiritual your perspective, the grander your life becomes. Forgiveness, selflessness, patience, compassion and gratitude naturally flow unrestrained like Himalayan waterfalls during monsoons. Be patient. Give before you take, give a lot more than you wish to take. Nature will reciprocate. It never fails.

Life lesson

The more responsible you are, the greater freedom you can have. In the words of Nelson Mandela, ‘To be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.’

No apology is sincere if you plan on repeating the offence.

I once read a quote: ‘That’s enough of me talking about myself. Now, let’s hear you talk about me.’ This sums up a narcissistic person.

That’s the only way to stop the inflow of karma and the debt it brings.’

Debt is not only brought by money but also by own karma. Debt is living slavery life, be it of money debt or karmic debt.

You can’t help someone see the world differently unless they are willing to change the story they believe in.

Change your story if you want to change your life.

Due to our conditioning, desires and actions, there exists a chasm between the intellect and the soul. With self-enquiry, reflection and mindfulness, this gap begins to close, and as that occurs, it brings you closer to you.

When you simplify and declutter your life, when you devote time to the well-being of your mind and soul, when you live in harmony with feelings of love and kindness towards all sentient beings, you bridge the gap between your intellect and soul.

And our attitude, in turn, is determined by our mindset and beliefs. Mindset can be changed with meditation, wisdom and inspiration. Beliefs can be changed with education, experience and insight.

That’s why it’s all the more important that we not only make a commitment to face and walk into light, but also inspire others to do the same. For we may be as bright as the mid-day sun, but if people around us are living in darkness, their shadows will fall on our paths. Be the light and spread light. Moving in the direction of a noble aspiration, towards goodness and kindness, is like walking into the light.

Swamiiis so noble

Have you noticed that whenever we are suffering, it’s generally due to the presence or absence of someone else in our life? We are sad because we have the wrong person in our life or we are sad because the right person is no more (or not as much as we’d like them to be) in our life. (What have we reduced ourselves to? I wonder…)

Turn inwards. Tae care of yourself first.

I guess so are most relationships: a kind of Procrustean bed. We work very hard to make the other person want the same things as us. We mistakenly want to work our relationships into some sort of perfection. If that is how you intend to make any relationship work, I’m afraid, it never will. The quality of human bond is not based on how well two people fit together or just even fit in. Instead, it is how much space they give each other. Besides, often when they seem to get along like a house on fire, one of them is quietly smoldering. Freedom is the seed of quality in a relationship.

Lesson for sua relationship.

Our challenges test us, but our attitudes shape us.

When our attention shifts from worrying about ourselves to adding value to the lives of those around us and serving a greater cause, our inherent goodness rises to the surface. All becomes possible then. Good things become great in due course. Good people become great people with the passage of time. This is the natural progression. For goodness does not focus on making a name but making a difference. And that’s what service does: it makes a difference.

As non-monastic Buddhist Layman Pang (740–808) said, ‘When the mind is at peace, the world too is at peace. Nothing real, nothing absent. Not holding on to reality, not getting stuck in the void, you are neither holy nor wise, just an ordinary fellow who has completed his work.’

The only way to end our suffering is to overcome ourselves. Other people in our lives are merely enablers and catalysts of the suffering we already carry within us. Suffering is another name for our inability to come to terms with life. When it comes to inner peace, the greater our acceptance and understanding of our circumstances and the people around us, the more peaceful we are.

Nature does not disappoint the one who is truthful, patient and faithful. The entire Universe conspires to pave the way for such a person. It connects you with the right person at the right time.

Happens with me a lot of time

Get up every day, do good karma, eat a square meal, help others, serve humanity and get some rest. That’s all there is. For some reason, most of us have made it too complex by too much thinking and worrying.’

Indeed, we are in life as much as life is in us.