Dirty Letters

by Vi Keeland

“Dear Griffin, “For eight years, I’ve been afraid of the dark. “For eight years, I’ve been afraid of letting go. “For eight years, I’ve been afraid of being trapped. “For eight years, I’ve been afraid of fire. “For eight years, I’ve been afraid of trying. “Your love made me realize I wasn’t really ever afraid of the dark, I was afraid of what lurked inside the darkness. “I wasn’t afraid of letting go, I was afraid to accept what was already gone. “I wasn’t afraid of being trapped, I was afraid to be free. “I wasn’t afraid of fire, I was afraid to be burned. “I wasn’t afraid of trying, I was afraid of getting hurt.” I knew the next few lines by heart, so I lowered my letter and spoke into Griffin’s eyes. “I’m not saying I’m better, because I have a long road ahead of me. But I’m tired of letting fear rule my life. I’m terrified of loving you, Griffin. I’m terrified of what would happen if I let myself love you and then lost you.” I looked up and saw Griffin’s eyes filled with tears. “But I’m more terrified of living my life without your love than I am of taking a chance. So please forgive me. I screwed up. And I’m probably going to screw up some more.” I reached out my hand. “Please take me back, Griffin. Because I love you more than the total of all my fears put together.”

💘