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I felt like we were on a merry go round that wouldn’t stop turning. We kept coming back to this point and maybe I should have accepted it. Because I couldn’t keep trying with her and having it thrown back in my face. So if she wanted us to hate each other then I’d have to play my part in it. Because I couldn’t keep away from her, that much was becoming abundantly clear. So I’d just have to keep being her villain.
“I think the stars picked you for me, Blue. I think you’re my Elysian Mate.”
“You don’t know anything about me,” I snarled. “Yeah, I do. And that’s what you can’t stand,” he replied darkly. “Because we’re the same you and me. Both fucked up, broken pieces on a game board that’s bigger than we can cope with. Both hoping to find some way of winning despite the odds being stacked against us all the damn time. Both addicted to things that push our boundaries and make us feel alive. Because at the end of the day, even feeling the worst of things is better than feeling nothing at all.”
“So I won’t let you ignore me, Roxy,” he snarled. “I’ll have your attention even if I have to take it without your permission.” “Why?” I demanded. “Why not just go after someone else?” “Because we don’t get to choose our obsessions. And you’re mine.”
“Maybe I’m always pretending to hate you,”
My heart pounded wildly as she looked my way, and a smile captured her lips. Roxy didn’t smile at me. Certainly not since the Eclipse. And I couldn’t really blame her for that. But until that moment I didn’t think I’d let myself appreciate how much it would mean to me if she did.
There was something about the way that she looked at me sometimes that made me feel like she could see through every wall I put up, spot every lie and piece of armour I wore and look straight upon the creature which hid in the depths of my soul.
“Good. Because I’m not a better man,” he said in a low growl, his eyes full of shadows. “I’m the devil and I want you. I want you like I’ve never wanted anything or anyone. And I will fight to make you mine, no matter what it takes. No force in Solaria will rip us apart.”
He was still all the things I hated about him, but he was also my own personal brand of hell. And I’d been sinning for a long time, waiting for him to punish me.
“Because you’re in my head all the time. You pulse through my blood with each beat of my heart. I live for every scrap of attention you offer me and suffer through every moment you spend ignoring me,” he said darkly, holding my eye the entire time.
It’s like you were designed entirely to taunt me and toy with me and crack me open and I won’t let it stand.”
“You want me to hate you?” I asked in surprise. “I want you to feel for me. And I’ll take hate if that’s all you’re offering.”
“You’re going to be the ruin of me,”
Elysian mates. Unbreakable. True
“I mean, like the way I lie awake at night, remembering what it felt like to hold you in my arms. How still the world felt, how pure that moment was between us. How I imagine I can still smell your perfume as my eyes fall closed and how I reach across my bed in the night wishing you were really there. Or like the way my heart beats harder when you walk into a room and my throat thickens when I try to think of the right things to say to you. How I fight to get your attention in any way I can because I can’t bear it when you ignore me.”
And I don’t care if you’re a Vega or not. I don’t care if your name is Roxy or Tory or anything else. I just want you.”
I’d never wanted anyone like I wanted Darius Acrux, but I’d never hated anyone like I hated him either.
