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“Wait. Slip of sanity? Are you saying this isn’t going to happen again?” I got to my feet and followed her as she headed for the door, not really knowing what the fuck was happening. She’d been there last night, I’d given her the time of her life. That was more than just sex, it was like riding a high. Why wasn’t she still in my bed begging for more? And how the hell was I losing out to buttery bagels?
“I’m not a good man,” he said thickly. He glanced at me as shadows curtained his eyes and he blinked to draw them back. “And you’re not either. We’re just two fuck-ups who keep fucking up.”
“So you’re saying that this big ass lizard can’t burn me at all, but I can totally cook his ass if I want to?” Tory asked with a smirk as she pointed at Darius.
“So why am I getting the treat of double vision right now?”
he snarled, but not like he was angry at me, like he was angry at the whole world besides me.
“I damn well can help you. And I will when I get over the shock of this. But here’s a quick pop quiz first: are you two conspiring to give me a fucking heart attack?”
So, this crystal is a promise from me that I’m yours. For now. Forever. Or till it all goes to shit, I don’t know which yet.”
“Don’t be an idiot, Roxy. You need to learn how to keep control of the shadows, or they’ll end up destroying you,” Darius snarled. “Well at least then I’d make you happy for once,” I threw back. His gaze darkened as he looked at me. “You can’t seriously think that?” I shrugged and looked away from him because I didn’t even know anymore. All I did know was that every time I let him get close to me, I got hurt, so it wouldn’t be happening again.
I bit my tongue on replying because although I was showing anger to the world, that wasn’t really what I was feeling. The overriding emotions I felt whenever Darius got close to me was betrayal. And I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why. But for some reason I felt so strongly about it that I couldn’t stand to be around him and face those feelings at all.
“I’m just so afraid that the second I tell you I’m all in on this, the sky will come crashing down around us,” I said. His fingers brushed the base of my jaw and he gave me a carnal look. “Well say it and let’s see,” he said with a challenging smile playing around his lips. I brushed my mouth over his in a feather light gesture as I gave in to my most desperate desire. Him. “I’m all in.” He winced, looking up at the ceiling as if expecting it to fall down. “Hm, nope the sky is still intact.”
“Nice job, Seth. Sometimes I think you’ve got the emotional compassion of a teaspoon,” he said. “I happen to like teaspoons,” Seth replied with a shrug.
“What is it you think I’m going to do to you?” he asked, hurt flickering in his eyes as he released my hand. “You’re impervious to fire magic, I can’t even use Dragon Fire against you. I’m hardly going to hit you or hurt you in some other way. I just want to talk to you before you run off and start ignoring me again.” “Oh, I don’t know,” I replied sarcastically. “We’re in a bathroom after all, maybe you’re going to try and drown me again? Or choke me? Or maybe you just want to try and draw me closer to you again just so that it will hurt even more the next time you push me in the mud or call
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“I didn’t mean that,” he was saying but I didn’t want to fucking hear it. “You never mean any of the things you say or do to me, do you?” I shouted back. “But you still keep doing them.”
Diego’s number seven denoted him as a seeker who looked for meaning in life, questioned things and had a spiritual nature. Yup, when your grandma’s soul is knitted into your hat, I guess that makes you one seriously spiritual guy.
At least there was a silver lining. One with muscles, incredible skill on the pitch and who actually liked me. And no, it wasn’t Orion – a moody Vampire for a coach? No thank you. He wasn’t going to go easy on me just because we were…whatever the hell we were. Nope, if ever there was a knight in shining armour awaiting me in the locker rooms, it was Geraldine Grus.
He felt like air and light and freedom.
“Do you think I care what people say about me? What you say about me?” I moved up as close as I could get with his air shield barring my way to him. “You’re nothing, Seth Capella. You’re just a boy kicking his toys out of the pram because I bother you. I get under your skin, and you can’t handle that like a man. This isn’t facing me like Fae, it’s pathetic. And if you think you’ve won, you are so wrong. The stars are on my side because they see you for the worthless creature that you are. And they’ll pay you back through me.”
I glared at him, raising my chin defiantly, daring him to do his worst as he reached out and snatched a handful of my hair into his grasp, tugging on it hard enough to tilt my head back. A gasp of pain parted my lips and his mouth collided with mine a moment later as my heart leapt at the unexpected turn of this argument.
He was still all the things I hated about him, but he was also my own personal brand of hell. And I’d been sinning for a long time, waiting for him to punish me.
“I wouldn’t align myself with them if every star in the heavens begged me to. I’d rather die than share a throne with the daughters of The Savage King. Or have you forgotten what he was responsible for?” “They’re not like him and you know it,” I growled. “Are you like your father, Darius? Do you judge yourself by the standards he set?”
“Nothing,” I muttered, moving to the window. Darius glanced around with a taut frown. “You sent fifty messages; it clearly isn’t nothing.” “Well, I’m just a traitor now aren’t I, Darius, so why would you care what I have to say?” I shot out of the window before he could reply, acid sliding through my veins and greasing my lungs.
Sometimes, I thought prison was probably a star-chosen fate for me.
“Is that really all you think you are to him?” Orion asked sadly and I bristled at the implication that I was somehow missing something here. “At what point would I have gotten any other impression? When he shifted and flew away from me as fast as physically possible? Or when I saw him at dinner and in the common room last night and he didn’t speak a word to me, let alone look at me?
Yeah seriously tho
“You’re both as stubborn as each other,”
I sighed, wishing we’d never gone through with that stupid damn plan. It hadn’t even worked now so what was the point? All of this hatred between us and the Vegas was making my head spin.
The only one with a bit of salt in is brain
“It’s too much, isn’t it?” Orion broke the silence. “I knew it was too much, but I just kept adding icicles…”
You make me wanna dress up trees, Blue.
Because Darius Acrux was absolutely not a mistake I was going to make twice. Certainly not while I was sober. I definitely wasn’t going back there…like fifty four percent. Dammit.
I ripped a book off of the shelf behind me and threw it at Orion’s head. “Run, Darcy!” I gasped, throwing another book at him. “He’s lost his fucking mind!”
“You assault me, blame me for wearing a hat then tell me you’re in love with my sister and the most pressing issue you have is my treatment of some old books?”
“You get one shot to do right by her,” I warned, pointing at him. “And if you fuck it up, if you hurt her or break her heart, then I won’t just kick you in the balls. I’ll castrate you.” Orion shifted his hands before his junk protectively, clearing his throat as he glanced at Darcy. “Fucking hell, I think she actually would,” he muttered, like I was insane.
Where were the douchebags who tormented us all around campus? Was this some kind of Christmas miracle or something? Had a little elf come and crawled up all of their asses to fill them with Christmas spirit this morning?
“What are you doing here?” I breathed, my quiet voice echoing in the stone room. “I couldn’t watch you dancing with Caleb,” he said, holding my eye and just owning how he felt for once.
“Because you’re in my head all the time. You pulse through my blood with each beat of my heart. I live for every scrap of attention you offer me and suffer through every moment you spend ignoring me,” he said darkly, holding my eye the entire time. “I thought you hated me?” I asked. “I do,” he agreed. “Because you represent everything I want and everything I can’t have.”
“You want me?” I asked slowly, taking a step towards him despite the dark energy which coiled around him. “You know I do,” he replied simply as if anything about us was simple. “No, I don’t. I know you like to hurt me and tear me down,” I said. “I know you want to control me and take from me and make me bow at your feet.” “I do,” he agreed, not even trying to deny any of it. “And I think a fucked-up part of you likes it when I do those things.” “Fuck you,” I hissed, but I still hadn’t left. “I think you like it when I hurt you because on some level you believe you deserve it.”
Every time my father hits me or hurts me or chains me, a little piece of me relishes the pain. Because I know I deserve it. For not getting Xavier away from him. For not stopping him from claiming the shadows. For letting him hurt you and your sister.”
“I don’t want you on your knees. I want you fighting me and hating me and fucking me like you mean it. You’re Roxanya Vega and you weren’t built to bow to anyone,” he growled passionately. “You want me to hate you?” I asked in surprise. “I want you to feel for me. And I’ll take hate if that’s all you’re offering.”
“What is it with you and cutting people’s balls off?” Orion’s brows pulled together. “Just go for the jugular, you savage.”
“Whose side are you on?” Tory narrowed her eyes. “I’m on the side that stands against Lionel Acrux,” he said, his jaw tightening and my heart thumped unevenly at the strength in his gaze. “It’s the only side that matters.”
There was just one, solid thing tethering me to this place, and he was staring at me like he didn’t know whether to kill me or kiss me.
He looked at me for a long moment, his bright, golden eyes watching me through the reptilian slits of his pupils. His nose bumped my chest, and I reached out on instinct, running my fingers over the glimmering scales between his eyes. “I like you so much better when you can’t talk,” I mused. He snorted derisively and I was shrouded in smoke for a moment. By the time it cleared, Darius stood before me in his Fae form. “But then you wouldn’t be able to bite back at me with such force, Roxy. And as much as you might claim to hate that, I think we both know it gets you going. You might hate me.
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What if this doesn’t work? Or what if it does but Clara’s been lost to the shadows too long to make the journey back?
What if she comes back and she is a total bitch
“I mean, like the way I lie awake at night, remembering what it felt like to hold you in my arms. How still the world felt, how pure that moment was between us. How I imagine I can still smell your perfume as my eyes fall closed and how I reach across my bed in the night wishing you were really there. Or like the way my heart beats harder when you walk into a room and my throat thickens when I try to think of the right things to say to you. How I fight to get your attention in any way I can because I can’t bear it when you ignore me.”
“I’m sorry,” he breathed, and I could feel how much he meant those words. They spilled through the cracks in my resolve like molten lava, searching for the fissures he’d carved in my heart with every cruel word and action and working to soothe them. They were the words I’d ached to hear from him so many times that it hurt me to even think about it. Because in all the time I’d known him, I’d never gotten the impression he felt an inch of the remorse that was shining in his eyes in that moment. But there it was. Darius was staring at me like he was breaking open and I was the only one who could
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He’d offered me his heart and I’d turned my back on it despite the agony I’d seen it cause him. I’d left my broken heart there with his too.
