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“Look, I don’t know what this thing is between us or where it’s going, Blue, but after everything that’s happened, the one thing that’s clear to me is that I don’t want anyone else. So, this crystal is a promise from me that I’m yours. For now. Forever. Or till it all goes to shit, I don’t know which yet.”
“Because we’re the same you and me. Both fucked up, broken pieces on a game board that’s bigger than we can cope with. Both hoping to find some way of winning despite the odds being stacked against us all the damn time. Both addicted to things that push our boundaries and make us feel alive. Because at the end of the day, even feeling the worst of things is better than feeling nothing at all.”
“Because we don’t get to choose our obsessions. And you’re mine.”
I’m not in love. I’m just…in trouble.” “Same thing,” he pointed out and I smirked.
“The next time you want to drown in them, tell me about it.” “Why?” “Because if you’re going to drown then I’m going to drown with you.”
“Because you’re in my head all the time. You pulse through my blood with each beat of my heart. I live for every scrap of attention you offer me and suffer through every moment you spend ignoring me,” he said darkly, holding my eye the entire time. “I thought you hated me?” I asked. “I do,” he agreed. “Because you represent everything I want and everything I can’t have.”
“But when I see you, all I want is to lay claim to you. I want you to be mine and I know you never will be and it’s making me even more fucked up than I was to begin with. That’s why I hate you. Not because I’m supposed to or because my father wants me to, but because you represent every freedom I’ve never been given. It’s like you were designed entirely to taunt me and toy with me and crack me open and I won’t let it stand.”
She didn’t know what was happening. She didn’t understand the importance of this moment. But I did. I knew. And as I looked at her, I couldn’t help but feel the most overwhelming sense of happiness.
It wasn’t a decision, it was fate. And for the first time in my life, it felt like destiny was on my side.
