The Eternity Code (Artemis Fowl, #3)

by Eoin Colfer

Spiro placed his palms on the table. “Listen, kid,” he whispered. “I like you. In a couple of years, you could have been just like me. But did you ever put a gun to somebody’s head and pull the trigger?” Artemis didn’t reply. “No?” grunted Spiro. “I didn’t think so. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Guts. And you don’t have them.”

Nothing more could be done. Either Artemis was safe, or he was not. If not, Butler was in no condition to fulfill the terms of his contract. This realization brought tremendous calm. No more responsibility. Just his own life to live, for a few seconds at any rate. And anyway, Artemis wasn’t just a Principal. He was his only true friend. Madam Ko might not have liked this attitude, but there wasn’t much she could do about it now. There wasn’t much anybody could do.

Traditionally all Butler males enrolled in Madam Ko’s Personal Protection Academy on their tenth birthday, spending six months of every year learning the bodyguard’s craft, and the other six guarding a low-risk Principal. The female Butlers generally went into service for various wealthy families around the world. Juliet decided she would combine both roles, spending half the year with Angeline Fowl, and the other half honing her martial arts skills in Madam Ko’s camp. She was the first Butler female to have enrolled in the academy, and only the fifth female ever to make it past the physical exam. The camp was never located in the same country for more than five years. Butler had done his training in Switzerland and Israel, but his younger sister received her instruction in the Utsukushigahara Highlands in Japan.

Faster than the eye could blink, Ahmed was wrapped in the folds of a nearby carpet, and Juliet was gone. Nobody had a clue what had happened until they replayed the incident on the screen of Kamal the chicken man’s camcorder. In slow motion the traders saw the girl hoist Ahmed by the throat and belt, and lob him bodily into a carpet stall. It was a move that one of the gold merchants recognized as a slingshot. A maneuver made popular by the American wrestler Papa Hog. The traders laughed so much that several of them became dehydrated. It was the funniest thing to happen all year. The clip even won a prize on Tunisia’s version of the World’s Funniest Home Videos. Three weeks later, Ahmed moved to Egypt.

Man, the books from my childhood are more racist than I remember.

“The C Cube undoubtedly has enormous potential. But it’s encrypted.” Spiro threw the olive at his head scientist. It was a humiliating experience for a Nobel Prize winner. “So break the encryption. What do I pay you guys for?” Pearson could feel his heart speeding up. “It’s not that simple. This code. It’s unbreakable.” “Let me get this straight,” said Spiro, leaning back in his oxblood leather chair. “I’m putting two hundred million a year into your department, and you can’t break one lousy code, set up by a kid?” Pearson was trying not to think about the sound his body would make hitting the pavement. His next sentence would save him or damn him. “The Cube is voice activated, and coded to Artemis Fowl’s voice patterns. Nobody can break the code. It’s not possible.” Spiro did not respond, it was a signal to continue. “I’ve heard of something like this. We scientists theorize about it. An eternity code, it’s called. The code has millions of possible permutations, and not only that, but it’s based on an unknown language. It seems as though this boy has created a language that is spoken only by him. We don’t even know how it corresponds to English. A code like this is not even supposed to exist. If Fowl is dead, then I’m sorry to say, Mr. Spiro, but the C Cube died with him.” Jon Spiro stuck a cigar into the corner of his mouth. He did not light it. His doctors had forbidden it. Politely. “And if Fowl were alive?” Pearson knew a lifeline when it was being thrown to him. “If ...

“Hey, don’t worry about me. The building hasn’t been built that Mo Digence can’t crack. I just hope Loafers is man enough for the job.” Loafers grabbed the dwarf by the lapels. “What’s that supposed to mean, Digence?” Mulch generally avoided insulting people who were likely to kill him, but it might be useful to establish Loafers as a hothead now. Especially if he was going to blame him for things going wrong later. “It’s one thing being a midget monkey, but a midget metal man? How good can you be at close quarters?” Loafers dropped the dwarf, ripping open his own shirt. His chest was a rippling tapestry of tattoos. “That’s how good I am, Digence. Count the tattoos. Count ’em.” Mulch shot Carla a loaded look. The look said, You’re going to trust this guy? “That’s enough!” said Carla. “The testosterone in here is starting to stink worse than the walls. This is a very important job. If you two can’t handle it, I’ll bring in another team.”

The billionaire danced around the laboratory, reduced to childish displays by his greed. “I’m telling you, Arty, this has taken years off me! I feel like putting on a tuxedo and going to the prom.” “Indeed.” “I don’t know where to start. Should I make my own money? Or should I rip off somebody else’s?” Artemis forced a smile. “The world is your oyster.” Spiro patted the Cube gently. “Exactly. That’s exactly what it is. And I’m going to take every pearl it has to offer.”

Spiro gazed into the Cube’s screen, as though there were nobody else in the room. “I reckon I’ve got twenty years left in me. After that the world can go to hell as far as I’m concerned. I have no family, no heirs. There’s no need to build for the future. I’m going to suck this planet dry, and with this Cube I can do whatever I want to whoever I want.”

I re-read this book because I remembered this line 15+ years after first reading it. I found it relatable then and even more relatable now.