How To Be Trustworthy

by Katherine Hawley

Suppose then that we encounter circumstances in which we find it difficult or costly to avoid incurring a new commitment, whether we like it or not, and whether or not we feel competent to fulfil that commitment. How to respond? We could choose to bite the bullet, and pay the high price of prioritizing trustworthiness by avoiding new commitment. For the most part, the cases I discussed in chapter 5 do not involve a complete lack of control over commitment, and indeed there is reason to think that coerced commitments do not genuinely bind us. Instead, I focused on situations in which our circumstances mean that avoiding commitment is a very unattractive option. For example, someone who has only one friend, a person who makes unreasonable demands upon her, may be forced to choose between accepting unsafe commitments (thus risking untrustworthiness) and losing her only social contact. Someone who needs to see a doctor, and will struggle to make it to the appointment on time because she relies upon poor public transport, must choose between a risky commitment to show up on time and a certainty of not seeing the doctor at all. People living in challenging circumstances, with few material or social resources, will more often pay a very high price if they prioritize trustworthiness—the avoidance of unfulfilled commitment—