Mark said the assault changed the story he could tell about himself. It changed my personal narrative too—or it confirmed what I’d suspected but was afraid to admit: I cared too much about pleasing men. I didn’t stop Mark partly because I didn’t want to embarrass him. What sort of feminist acts like that? I asked myself—instead of asking, What sort of friend does what Mark did? And now, listening to myself reassure him, I’m again asking myself, What sort of feminist acts like that?
