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Maybe fat people don’t want to go on a new fad diet or have surgery. Maybe going to the gym gives fat people an anxiety attack and causes them to give up before they even start…because half the people there are looking at us like we’re a fish out of water. While the other half are wondering how long we’ll last before we give up and head for the nearest McDonald’s. Maybe fat people just want to be accepted…flaws and all. Just like the rest of society. And maybe, just maybe—people should stop judging us. Because every fat person will tell you…no one judges us harder than we judge ourselves.
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I’m not sure what to make of the look on his face when his eyes land on Cole who’s still snoozing…on top of me. “Cole was giving her CPR,” Bianca offers with a coy smile. Baffled and tipsy himself, Oakley scratches his head. “Well either he screwed up, or Sawyer got greedy and stole all his air until he passed out.” Eyes narrowed; he wags a finger at me. “You better fix him.” Yeah, I really have to start tutoring him ASAP, because that is not how it works.
A woeful smile touches his face. “We used to talk about what we were going to do after I graduated. Our plan was to take the money she’d get during the divorce and live on some exotic island—where no one would judge us for being together—and survive off coconuts.” I fight the urge to point out that theoretically speaking, one can only live off coconuts for five to ten years tops. And that this plan sounds way more like a fantasy than reality.
Bending over, she picks up her shirt and bra off the floor. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad it was you. It was surprisingly…” “Amazing?” I offer. “Out of this world?” “Not weird.” She chews on her bottom lip, pondering. “Comfortable.” I try not to take offense, but it’s like telling a blind person to look at a rainbow. “You just came all over my face…and it was comfortable?”
“Just because I have my own beliefs regarding God doesn’t mean I can’t respect the fact that other people have theirs.” I shrug. “At the end of the day, we're all just trying to get to the same place, right? Who am I to judge?” “What about those who don’t believe at all?” I rub my palms on my skirt. “I carry a heaviness in my heart for them.” His green eyes gleam in challenge. “Because they don’t believe what you do?”
“Because it must be awfully hard to have the weight of the world rest solely on your shoulders every day.” I look him right in the eyes. “But no matter my personal beliefs, I would never try to convert someone, nor tell them they were wrong for not believing. I’m sure they have their reasons for it…just like I have mine.”
Between the championship game and everything else…he must have been exhausted. As if feeling my stare, he opens his eyes. “Morning.” I snuggle against his chest. “Morning.” “Morning,” a voice that sounds like my dad’s drawls. We both jolt up in bed. “Daddy, what—” “Don’t you daddy what me, young lady.” His angry eyes fix on Cole. “What the hell do you think you’re doing in my daughter’s bed?” “Sleeping,” Cole answers matter-of-factly. Daddy isn’t amused. “Jolene,” he yells. “Get my gun.”
My heart skips when I realize the bookmark is a picture of two precious identical babies in a crib…holding hands while they sleep. It’s such a beautiful moment captured. I’m about to close it, when I notice there’s a scripture circled. ‘If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.’ —1 John 4:20-21 The phrase ‘hates his brother’ is
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“Should we duct tape his mouth shut?” Jace grunts. “I vote we put him in the trunk.” Oakley sits up in his seat. “My incisors are sharper than a vampire’s. Not only will I scream stranger danger, I will gnaw your arms off.”
“You think love is perfect? Like one of those fairytales?” He shakes his head. “Hell no. Love is hard…difficult. It’s dealing with someone’s shit day in and day out but never giving up on them because your heart won’t let you. It’s having a million reasons to leave them…but always having one good reason to stay.”
The phone drops from my hand…and I drop to my knees. I hated my father for not being able to move after he found Liam in the closet that day. But now…I think I understand. It’s not that he didn’t want to…it’s that he couldn’t. Because the agony and heartbreak were so severe, so penetrating, that even though he was still breathing… He died too.
will not make her keep fighting when it’s clear she’s had enough. I won’t put my baby girl through that.” He bangs on his chest. “Trust me, it’s the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make in my life.” “Then don’t make it.” Don’t take her from me.
“Then don’t make it.” Absolutely breaks my heart. I think we’d all want to scream that but you also don’t want to watch her slowly die. Moments like this have a way of dragging you into adulthood and facing a reality that no one should have to live in.
“So beautiful,” he groans. “You’re so goddamn beautiful, Sawyer.” I kiss up his jaw as he spasms against me. “So are you.” There’s a sheen of sweat on his face, his hair is a mess, and his suit is in disarray…but he’s never looked sexier. And I’ve never felt luckier. Because he loves me. Even when I didn’t know how to love myself.