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But mostly? I just want to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see staring back at me. I want to know what it’s like to feel like I’m enough.
Spend five seconds on social media and you’ll quickly find out that the worst thing you can be…is fat.
desperately trying to make my outside match my inside. It’s a silent battle and the screaming demon I stuff down and keep to myself…because no one likes a Negative Nancy or a Debbie Downer.
“How come lies are so beautiful and the truth is always so fucking ugly?”
“Or, maybe it’s because there is no truth…definitively anyway. We all have our own truth…and whatever version aligns best with that is what we gravitate toward and believe…even if it’s a lie. I guess in the end it comes down to selfishness.”
Ignoring my question, he leans his forehead against mine. “Ask me again what I want.” I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “What do you want, Colton?” The pure agony that slashes across his face wraps around my heart and squeezes. “Something I can never have…because I’ll destroy it.”
I might be the shittiest boyfriend in the world, but if there’s one thing I know how to do well in our relationship…it’s woo her. And from this day forward, I will always woo her when she least expects it.
Abbott’s been calling me sugar ever since I can remember, but I don’t have a chance to explain that to Cole—or remove Abbott’s arm—because Cole’s fist goes flying into his nose. “I’m her motherfucking boyfriend, sugar.”
I probably shouldn’t have punched him. But he shouldn’t have put his arm around my girlfriend’s waist and called her sugar. He fucked up my woo.
“I’ll be up in a little while.” He’s about to leave, but I halt him. “Thanks for…you know.” Bailing my ass out. Like he always does. He knocks his fist against mine. “You’re my brother, asshole.”
Because one thing counseling has made me realize is that I have so much love in my heart...and I've given none of it to myself.
