Ruthless Knight (Royal Hearts Academy, #2)

by Ashley Jade

He’s not an empty black hole on the inside.

But mostly? I just want to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see staring back at me. I want to know what it’s like to feel like I’m enough.

I’m the proverbial round peg forever trying to fit inside a square hole…desperately trying to make my outside match my inside.

Because every fat person will tell you…no one judges us harder than we judge ourselves.

Girls like me have to dig deep and find a way to be content with whatever box humanity decides to put us in and learn to accept far less than we deserve. Because that’s all we’re cut out for.

“How come lies are so beautiful and the truth is always so fucking ugly?”

I have a crush on Cole Covington…and I hate myself for it. He’s everything I despise in a person. He’s cocky, ruthless, a womanizer, and worst of all—he mocks my faith. Yet…there’s something about him I can’t ignore.

“Such a shame.” “What is?” A rush of air escapes me when he skims the pad of his thumb down my cleavage. “That some fictional dead guy you insist on worshiping gets the privilege of being buried in these tits all the time.”

“What do you want, Colton?” The pure agony that slashes across his face wraps around my heart and squeezes. “Something I can never have…because I’ll destroy it.”

“Me being real.” My breath hitches when he places my hand over his wildly beating heart. “But I should warn you…it’s dark inside.”

“Well, as a minister, I’m supposed to remind you how important it is that we love, accept, and help one another in the name of God.” He makes a face. “But as your granddaddy—I think you should tell him to kiss your grits and find help elsewhere, because no boy should ever hurt my grandbaby.”

Something tells me he wouldn’t appreciate me informing him that I have every intention of fucking his daughter so good she’s going to start calling me daddy soon.

“You know,” Cole grits through his teeth. “I’m getting really tired of people acting like Sawyer dating me is some kind of prize she’s not worthy of when it’s the other way around.”

“It’s a damn shame you and your wife can’t appreciate the incredible person you brought into the world for everything she is instead of everything she isn’t.”

Sawyer: Did you steal Oakley’s weed stash? The only thing it indicates is that you can’t pass your cock around like a bag of chips, you moron.

My girl isn’t anyone’s side piece or booty call. Hell, she’s not even mine.

He covers it up by making rude, hurtful remarks…but deep down, he’s grieving a vital part of himself he lost. Liam.

“We’re fake dating, rem—” “Are we?” She’s the one who looks confused now. “Are we what?” “Fake dating.” There’s no way she can’t acknowledge this attraction between us.

“If I told you it was real…that I wanted it to be real between us…what would you say?”

Cole: If I start listening to The Beatles will you hook up with me? Sawyer: No. But I’ll have a lot more respect for your taste in music. Also, since we’re on the subject of music, you should add some Nick Jonas to your collection. I’d rather chew my arm off. Cole: That won’t be happening. Ever. Sawyer: Your loss. He’s my soulmate…he just doesn’t know it yet. In that case, he won’t mind me stealing you away.

Cole: Last night you got me off. Sawyer: I beg your fucking pardon, jackass. I did no such thing.

“What do you think about when you touch yourself?” She inhales sharply. “That’s a really personal question.” “We’re doing a really personal thing,” I remind her, sinking my finger deeper. “Nick Jonas,” she answers with a smirk. God help the son of a bitch if I ever run into him.

“Because losing you isn’t an option for me.”

I might not deserve Sawyer…but I want her. All of her. No walls. No guardrails. No safety nets. No stupid contract or bet. Just us. For real this time.

“No. This is real.” The big hands framing my face tighten. “So fucking real.”

“Jolene,” he yells. “Get my gun.” At that, Cole’s eyes turn big as saucers. “Don’t do it, Jolene.” I smack his arm. “I mean, Mrs. Church.”

It’s because—just like that green blanket—there’s a piece of me missing now too. A piece I’ll never be able to fix or repair. A piece I’ll never get back.

You never truly know when someone’s on their last breath…even when it’s suicide.

The most devastating thing about suicide is that it leaves those behind with so many questions…and zero answers.

Sometimes, when you least expect it…two beautifully broken souls end up finding each other. Even when the world says they’re not supposed to…because they don’t fit inside the same box.

It’s never too late to start loving someone.

“She loves me so much I forget what hating myself feels like whenever she’s around.”

“You think love is perfect? Like one of those fairytales?” He shakes his head. “Hell no. Love is hard…difficult. It’s dealing with someone’s shit day in and day out but never giving up on them because your heart won’t let you. It’s having a million reasons to leave them…but always having one good reason to stay.”

“I want you to marry me and have my babies.” His Adam’s apple bobs. “Not because I deserve you, but because I’m so in love with you I’ll never stop fighting for you…for us.”

Loving someone…means giving them everything. Including the ugly parts of yourself you’d rather they never see.

“One of these days I’m gonna shoot your ass.” Cole just smiles. “No, you won’t.”

Earlier this year, I thought I knew exactly what my life would be like. But I was wrong. Because sometimes when you least expect it… The most popular quarterback can fall in love with the Jesus-loving nerd.

The world can have Lucky Seven…my heart will always and forever belong to Colton Covington.